


Not Hard to Love

by roselinegrey



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Cheating, Complicated Relationships, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Lemon, Levi-is-depressed-af, Love Triangles, Mental Health Issues, Mistress, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Romance, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexist Language, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), War, ex-lovers, reader-is-above-18, so-much-fucking-angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26643502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roselinegrey/pseuds/roselinegrey
Summary: It’s been a year since you broke up with Levi Ackerman. The words “I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” continues to ring in your head every now and then. You never truly understood his reasons for ending the relationship you two had. You tried, oh you tried so hard, to forget about the ache in your heart, but you never found anything that healed you completely. Not without him.Now that you are in a new relationship with a rising powerful politician, you are caught up in a tangled thread of past relationships and want to secure your future. What happens when Levi runs into you again at a dinner banquet and learns that you're set to marry in two months?
Relationships: Erwin/Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader, Mike Zacharias/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 144





	1. Chapter 1

It’s been a year since you broke up with Levi Ackerman. The words “I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” continues to ring in your head every now and then. You never truly understood his reasons for ending the relationship you two had. You tried, oh you tried so hard, to forget about the ache in your heart, but you never found anything that healed you completely. Not without him.

Now you’re standing in front of your full-body mirror; hair decorated in the way you wanted, lips plump with your favorite shade of red; body curved perfectly with the formal dress you bought last week for the dinner banquet tonight. On any normal day, you didn’t care much for the way you looked, a general brush of your hair and clean face would do, but you knew how to catch every man’s (and woman’s) attention whenever you wanted. All except Levi’s when you needed to the most.

The banquet tonight is merely a publicity stunt, your recent man is a politician trying to gain approvals and funding from potential sponsors. The usual political mingling. Your close friend Eva was surprised to hear you dating a new man so soon after your shattering breakup with Levi, but you were a woman in a patriarchal society, and you were close to reaching the age of “not young enough to be a wife”. You hated that reality, leaving your job as an engineer in the Weapons and Tactic division to settle down with a husband and have kids. Independence was something you thrived in, but you were still a woman desiring to have a man come home to you and a warm home filled with your children’s laughter.

You looked at the ring on your left hand, _how I wish you had put this ring on me instead._

“Ready to go, darling?” your fiance said as he peaked into the room. “Wow, you sure do look beautiful, I can’t wait to show you off to all those boring old men, telling them how sexy my soon-to-be-wife is.”

You chuckled, straightening his bow-tie, “Oh stop, we both know tonight is all about getting your agenda across and gaining some favors from those boring old men. I’ll just smile and nod by your side.”

“Smart as always, my sweet angel.” He responded. Giving yourselves one last look in the mirror, you both head outside to where the carriage was waiting.

/

You wrapped your left arm around your fiance as you walked in together into the ballroom, silently gasping at how grande the room looked. A large chandelier with five layers of shining glass and candlelight illuminates the center; maroon-colored curtains that covered the tall windows flowed gently in the evening breeze; long white tables in the corners of the room serving all the fancy food you could only dream of tasting before you met the man standing next to you. Speaking of the man you’re currently linking arms with, he immediately spots the first politician to swoon as he gently steers you towards a middle-aged man with a mustache so bushy you wonder where his lips went.

“Mr. Johnson! It’s good to see you tonight, how’s Bella and the kids doing?” your fiance says.

And so the show begins. You had to admit you were getting better at enduring these small talks since you had to mingle with politician wives a few times before. Despite the shallow conversations you have to hold, it is always beneficial to create connections.

The man next to you is also a powerful speaker, although only in his early thirties, he learned the necessary maneuvers from his father, who was also a politician is his days, to get what he wants. Perhaps that’s why you agreed to be with him so fast, his charming ways and smart mouth had you believing that he was a man any girl would be glad to marry. You met him at a local book store when you struggled to get a mathematics book on the top shelf, he was there to reach it for you. As cliche as it sounds, the conversation you had with him that first encounter made you appreciate his intellect, not to mention his bright smile that would make any woman drool.  
He was the best candidate.

After the fifth person you had to greet and politely smile at while your fiance goes about his political magic, the band in the ballroom began to play a rather slow song. It was your cue, “Darling, why don’t we visit the dance floor for a moment?” Your fiance gave you a glance and nodded, “Excuse me, I’ll go have a dance with my lady.”

As he walked you to a spot with enough room to dance, he whispered “Thank goodness you pulled me out of there, that man was so stubborn about his own opinions I couldn’t even give him a counterpoint like I even tried-”

“Shhh, just dance with me.” You said as you put one hand on his shoulder and the other in his palm.

He obliged and landed his free hand on your lower back, a gesture to most who deemed romantic, but to him, he just wanted to show the other men in the room that you belonged to him. A few twirls and glides, he opted to tilt you backward, showing off your neckline while he sneakily blew air onto your exposed skin. You giggled at the ticklish feeling and brought your body up straight to lean your head against his chest.

All the while, your laughter reached the ears of a shorter man with black undercut hair and a jawline that could slice bricks. He recognized your voice immediately, and he quickly turned his head to where that sweet sound was coming from. His breath hitched at the sight of you. Your entire shoulder was exposed from the floor-length black dress you’re wearing. It wasn’t a tight dress that represented a prostitute, but tight enough to see how your body was truly framed.

“I didn’t know she would be here! Oh, I’ll go say hello when the dance is over.” Hange said as she noticed the slight change in Levi’s expressions and followed his line of eyesight to where you were currently slow dancing. “She looks so different from the last time I saw her, right Levi?”

The grey-eyed man remained motionless, to think he would see you here, and the sight of you dancing so closely with a man sent strange feelings in his body. No, he knew what these feelings were. It happened before various times when he would see you having a conversation with a rookie cadet, or hearing a man at the local market talking too flirtatiously to you as a way of making business. It was jealousy. Even after all this time, he couldn’t stand the sight of you being with men that weren’t him.

Erwin sensed the growing irritation from the Captain he respected. The breakout between you and Levi had a great effect on the Survey Corps, Levi’s grumpiness was reached to new heights, barking orders and giving punishments at cadets more than usual. It was hell for everyone. Erwin, being the only friend Levi considered as, checked up on him one day in his office to set things straight. Being the Commander, he was great at many things, yet Erwin couldn’t understand why Levi would ever cut ties with you. You were his ground, his comfort, his everything, But Levi let the love of his life go in the end, because “It’s for her own good.”

Erwin sacrificed many aspects of his life to be in the position he currently holds. His personal relationships were only extended to the people in the military, no more relatives, no more hobbies even. It was a price to pay in order to remain calm when things turned ugly out on the battlefield and after so, so many deaths. But to see his friend and Captain giving up the sole thing that made him close to an emotional being was a regret he undoubtedly thinks he goes through every day.

“Ah, I think a friendly reunion is set,” Erwin said as he walked towards your direction.  
Your fiance noticed the Commander first as your back was facing the stoic man. “Commander Smith! What an honor it is to finally meet you in person, I have heard so much of your achievements and think highly of your battle tactics.”

_Tch. He couldn’t kiss more of Erwin’s ass huh?_

“Thank you, Mr. Bennett. I see your campaign is going in the right direction. It’s delightful to see you too tonight,” said Erwin as he now faced you with a gentle smile.

“Erwi- I mean Commander! I didn’t know you would be here tonight, how is the Survey Corp going?” For a moment you forgot you were in a formal setting, and informalities were something your fiance disliked. Before you could compose yourself, a woman you knew too well to jump in and hug you tightly was Hange. “Ah!! I missed you so much!! Without that genius brain of yours, our research department was lacking in a couple of areas. How about you? Any new groundbreaking inventions yet?”

You quickly untangled yourself from Hange and smoothed down your dress before speaking up, “Nice to see you tonight Section Leader Zoe, and thank you for the compliments, however, I am currently not involved in any developments in that area.” You smiled at your friend.

“Eh?? But you LOVE your little gears and screws! How-IS THAT A RING I SEE?” Hange quickly grabbed your left hand out of your partner’s arm to take a look.

Your partner was taken aback from the sudden burst of action happening in front of him, he cleared his throat and gently took you left arm out of Hange’s grip and held it in his hand instead. “Yes, she is to be my wife” You could only awkwardly smile at Erwin and Hange and back to your partner, “in two months.”

Surprised looks filled the two faces in front of you, Erwin was the first to recover, “Congratulations, I wish you both happiness.” In the back of his head, he could already predict the disaster to come in the Survey Corp tomorrow morning.

Hange was next, “WHAT! Oh my Walls, I’m so happy for you! Congratulations.”

You and your partner gave your thanks and continued a small recap of what your next steps will be, all circling around only to put emphasis on his political journey.

While this conversation was held, Levi was barely containing his disbelief. You married, in two months. He managed to leave before Hange managed to pull him towards you, and found a corner close enough to eavesdrop but far enough that you wouldn’t recognize his back, or so he thought. Levi was torn apart inside. The image of you in a wedding dress, saying your vows to a man that he could never be. Why was he feeling this way? He was the one who broke it off, clearly making the point of not wanting to be associated with you in any way.

He was the one to encourage you to find someone else, to settle down. But he didn’t think it would all happen so soon.  
“Hey, Levi! There you are, don’t be rude and antisocial. Come say hello to our old friend.” Hange yelled over the booming music.

_Friend. She was so much more than that._


	2. Cabinets Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The confrontation between you and Levi as past frustrations and present revelations mix.

“Hey, Levi! There you are, don’t be rude and antisocial. Come say hello to our old friend.” Hange yelled over the booming music. 

_Oh shit, no backing out now._

Levi turns around and walks to where you and the others were. Looking anywhere but your eyes. 

The sight of him, the sound of his name, brings you back so many memories you shared with him. The breakup included. 

You took a breath before schooling your facial features in the classic politeness you knew so well by now. “Captain Levi, it’s a pleasant surprise to see you tonight.” you managed to say without portraying how much of a mess you are inside. You wanted to scream. 

Before Levi had the time and composure to respond, your fiance perked up, “I didn’t know you were acquainted with such honorable people in the military, my dear, you never cease to surprise me. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is George Bennett, a member of the-”

“I know who you are.” Levi coldly responded. George hated being interrupted, his brow furrowed for a second but politely nodded in return. Levi never looked at you during this exchange. You could feel the room become tense around you. Not a friendly reunion at all. 

Hange sensed something was off, so she decided to switch the conversation, “So! How many months have you been pregnant?” 

The champagne Erwin was drinking was spat back into the glass at Hange’s question towards you, wondering how she even deduced that. You froze on the spot, no one was supposed to know. You glanced up at George and he looked extremely uncomfortable at that comment too; the pregnancy was meant to be a secret until you were married. It would taint his reputation if people were to gossip that he got you pregnant before becoming a lawful couple. 

You awkwardly laugh at Hange, “Me? Pregnant? No, Hange. Maybe the stuffy air in the room is messing with your perception, let’s get you a drink and some fresh air. How about that?” You didn’t give her a chance to refuse as Hange was held by the arm by you and was already walking away from the three men. George let out a sigh, mentally thanking for your quick thinking. He’ll need to have a talk with you later. Not wanting to be in the presence of the Commander and Captain anymore, he quickly exchanged pleasantries and excused himself. 

Levi couldn’t believe his ears, you were pregnant. Normally he wouldn’t listen to any word Hange says, but she was exceptionally good at observation when it concerned biological bodies. It all made sense. He never saw you drink alcohol throughout the night, yet he clearly knew that you would always take the opportunity to get tipsy whenever you had the chance. He also noticed the way you would subconsciously touch your lower abdomen, he thought it was a cramp from dancing. The possibility of you being pregnant at this moment never crossed his mind until now. 

Erwin began saying, “Levi, you didn’t even speak to her. Ask her yourself if you’re worried.” The Commander sensed the confusion on Levi’s face, to be frank, he was dumbfounded as well upon hearing the news. “She didn’t outright admit it yet.” He encouraged. 

“I’ll go take a walk. Go make more meaningless conversations while you’re at it.” spitted Levi, he needed to clear his head, the number of people in this ballroom was making him sick. 

/

Out on the balcony, you were standing next to Hange, admiring the night sky. You sighed, “I knew I couldn’t hide stuff like this from you, Hange. I’m three months pregnant.” 

Hange turned to face you now, one hand on your shoulder so you could look at her, “Are you happy with him? It’s never too late to back out, you know, I also know a doctor who specializes in those..um..female situations.” 

You gave her a small smile, “Thank you Hange, but everything is fine and I want to keep the baby.” Taking her hand, you squeezed it as you said “But promise you’ll keep this a secret, George and I have decided to be quiet about it until we’re officially married. Please, for my sake.”

At that, Hange could only nod, “Of course, I respect that decision. You just seemed different now, you even called me Squad Leader in the 4 years we’ve known each other. It’s just...not the way I thought our reunion would be like. We really missed you.” 

“Ah, that.” chuckling at the memory of calling Hange her formal title for the second time ever. “It’s just a formality in these parties, don’t think about it too much.” You reassured her.

“Very well. So… what have you been up to now that you’re out of the engineering realm? Tea parties with big pink hats and over-powdered face?” Hange giggled. 

/

_Where’s the fucking restroom? Fucking ballrooms and their shitty long hallways._ Levi thought as he continued wandering in the third hallway he found himself in. 

“Oh, just like that... mmm!” 

Levi shook his head, _fucking disgusting, can’t even wait to leave this shitplace to screw around?_

However, as he was about to make a turn, he heard it again, “Ah! George...harder… oh yeah.”

That name, George, wasn’t that the name of the shitbag you’re engaged to? The father to your potential child? But the moans from the woman weren’t yours, he knew that. 

_It’s none of your business, just continue walking._ Yet Levi couldn’t resist his curiosity, and as he walked nearer to the cabinet that produced these sounds, he saw a slight crack in the cabinet door. Male grunts became louder by the second, the flashes of blonde hair, and the slight parting of his mouth confirmed Levi’s suspicions. Your fiance was fucking someone else. 

_Absolute piece of shit._

Something came over Levi’s consciousness, the only purpose in his walk now was to find you. He needed to see you. 

/

Levi’s frantic search for you slowed as he finally spotted you in the balcony chatting with Hange. Both of you were laughing at something Hange said when she noticed Levi’s panting figure a few meters away from where you stood. She turned to you, “I’ll go get us some water, you wait here.” 

“Huh? Oh, okay,” you said as you watched Hange go back inside, feeling bored, you started to brush your hair with your fingers when sounds of footsteps came in from the left side. You turned to look at who the approaching person was, the fingers in your hair froze. Levi was just standing there, so handsome in his tuxedo, breathing slightly hurriedly from his earlier jog. 

You turned away, not wanting to have a conversation with him you walked towards the ballroom entrance. 

“No, wait. Please.” Levi hurriedly said. 

Still not looking at him, you stopped your footsteps, not daring to move. “What do you want?” 

“I… just wanted to speak to you, alone.” sighed Levi. 

Your irritation was rising by the second, the audacity of him wanting to talk after everything he’s put you through. “Well? What’s there to talk about?” 

Not knowing how to phrase his thoughts, Levi spat out, “Since when did you become so submissive?” _Shit, why did I say that?_

“Excuse me?” You now faced him, not believing the first thing he wanted to say was _that._

Levi was panicking, this is not how he wanted the conversation to start. "Uh, I meant how have you been?" 

You rolled your eyes, "I'm fine." After a pause, you continued, "Why are you here anyway, you hate big gatherings." It's true, Levi despised fancy parties with a passion, phony people, and endless handshaking disgusted him to no end. The only aspect that helped him endure it was seeing you dressed up all pretty and embarrassing yourself after a few drinks. The way he took care of you when you became too drunk to walk properly in heels, or the times he also got tipsy with you which ended up with sloppy kisses and formal attire scattered on the floor in your rooms. 

"It was for Erwin, we're trying to get more funding for the Survey Corps, again," replied Levi. "The recent expeditions cost us quite a lot, so we're trying everything we can at the moment." 

Listening to his reasoning, you managed to say "Hm, I see," You understood the financial struggle within the military, of how unproportioned the funds were allocated among the divisions, with the Military Police always getting the best end of the stick. Now fiddling and looking down at your hands, you asked him, "What did you mean by when I became so submissive?" 

Levi exhaled before answering you, "You loved your work, and you were one of the best in your division, so I just wondered why you would just give up on that so easily, and all for a man. It's just unlike you." 

Eyes snapped back at him, you scoffed, "And what do you know what's like and unlike me? People change all the time, I'm no exception. And as for the 'man', I wholeheartedly support his agendas, and I intend to help him in any way I can, politically and personally. He agrees that the government is corrupted, with police taking advantage of their titles, while most of the population struggles with basic healthcare and education. George wants to change that. There's nothing wrong with supporting him."

Levi could only shake his head, not believing you had become so dependent on someone else, and only devoting your mind and body to another _who wasn't him_. His frustration flickered on as he remembered the previous discovery of the very man you respect so much, was fucking someone else while you're out here in the cold alone. "And what does he do in return for you? For your dreams? Not once did he stop his endless blabbering about his agenda and sucking up on other politicians in the room to ask if you were feeling tired or thirsty. On top of that, leaving his pregnant fiance in the open air while he's probably somewhere fucking another whor-"

You cut him off before he could continue, "DON'T. don't say another word about him like that. You have NO right, absolutely no right to question my relationship with him. It's my body, my relationship, my life. You're not a part of it, so mind your own fucking business." The urge to slap him was so strong, but you kept it in as you reminded yourself you're still in a public setting, where anybody could spot you. You can't let it slip, not when you're so close to reaching your goal. 

The argument coming from you left Levi stumbling with his words, he knew that he had overstepped the line. It wasn't his place to criticize how you live your life now. But to hear your outrightly say he wasn't a factor in your life anymore hurt him nonetheless. The days where you consulted him from the little daily chores to big job decisions you cared so much about no longer exists in the present. His opinion means nothing to you anymore. And it pains him. You could live without him after all. 

"I-, I'm sorry... I was just looking out for you," whispered Levi. 

_What. What did this short man just say?_ Your anger bubble is almost ready to pop. "Looking out for me? Oh, all of a sudden you're saying that you're caring for me now? Where were you when I needed your care and affection the most, hmm? When I basically begged for you to continue to have your care, yet you threw it all away like I didn't deserve any from you." Arms by your sides and hands clenched, all the while keeping your voice low so only he could hear. He didn't fear your outburst, you knew that it's the calmness and deadliness in your words that frighten him more. Done with what you wanted to say, your head was beginning to hurt. 

"There you are, darling! I've been looking everywhere for you." comes George's voice. Hearing your fiance's voice, you took a few deep breathes and relax your muscles. Wearing that awful fake smile, you curtsied at the man still too shaken to say anything back, "Captain, I will be going now. Have a good evening," And away you go, back to the arms of the man who was wrapping it around another woman's thighs a few moments before. Not looking back, you try to forget about the confrontation you just had with Levi as you continue making small talk with the guests in the ballroom before finally going back to your carriage and returning home. 

Levi couldn't do anything. Watching you walk away to an unfaithful man who kissed you gently on the forehead as if to atone the sins he just committed in that cabinet. Thoughts filled with you and your words, he silently walked away and sat in the carriage with Erwin and Hange as the journey back to the Survey Corp rode on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooof a mental slap to the face for Levi. How will he recover from this? (poor cadets too). Will George's cabinet activity be confronted as well?? 
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying the story overall so far :)


	3. Apples and Potatoes

Sex was an activity that you didn't really find interest in. Everyone talked about it, especially among the boys, but for girls, it was a taboo conversation as losing one's virginity before marriage was a dishonorable act. However, you naturally got curious about what makes it so desirable and experimented with it, with yourself in the beginning. During your last year of engineering academy, you snuck out of the dorms with a boy you knew since the very beginning of your academy years. You trusted him, and so you followed him to the rooftop of the clock tower on campus. Both of you were so awkward- the first kiss went by so quickly that you thought you didn't actually experience it. All those romance novels you read about how the man of your dreams would kiss you under the moonlight while he held you gently, bringing you warmth and love. None of that happened. You kept going despite that initial disappointment though, one thing led to another and before you could even acknowledge what just occurred, the boy had already finished and left you confused and tingling with slight pain. So that's how sex feels like. 

Ever since you lost your virginity, you gradually formed the thought of how the whole "no sex before marriage" was such a shit standard. Why can boys screw around and be called a man afterward whereas if a girl even dared to go beyond a simple kiss was deemed as a whore? It didn't make sense to your young brain. Human bodies naturally desire sexual release, so why should society label it as either an act of love or an act of indecency? 

When you joined the Engineering Division in the military, you had occasional hookups for fun and to ease all the stress and tension. No one impressed you enough to make you want them beyond physical pleasure. Not until Levi Ackerman came into the picture. Walls, that man was all over the place. The first time with him was on his birthday. You laugh at the thought that he received birthday sex from you, but at the time no feelings were involved so you didn't care much. One tipsy sex led to a second one, and it became a regular getaway when both of you wanted to sleep with someone. It wasn't a friends with benefits situation, you weren't even friends. Yet, over the course of spending time in each other's beds, not only did he quickly learn where to touch you to get you to scream his name, but he also found solace in the small conversations you shared post-sex. With him training most of the time and going off to expeditions while you researched away in your department, both of you grew to expect each other's calming presence after long periods of separation. You fell in love with him, and surprisingly he reciprocated those feelings. 

Only a few people knew about your relationship with Levi, and while they would joke about how he needs to compensate his height through his sex game, they respected your relationship and were happy that you found someone who wholeheartedly respected and loved you. 

When he broke up with you on the day before your one-year anniversary, your mind went through all the possible reasons for what you did wrong. For a second, you thought it was because your body wasn't enough for him, that you couldn't satisfy him like the other women before you. Well, you never got him to answer that suspicion. 

George came into the picture a few months after the breakup. He was such a gentleman on the first date; picking you up with flowers, paying for the dinner, walking with you down the river. You held high hopes when he entered your bedroom, for a man with such charming looks he must have had many sexual experiences. Yet, the whole act didn't even last for more than five minutes. It reminded you of your first time with the academy boy, with him panting and finished while you were wet with disbelief. George did get better over time though, after all, you had to redirect him multiple times for him to finally get to your sweet spot. Countless lessons of "a little bit to the left....no,  _ my  _ left...mmhm, no you went too left now," With Levi, it only took two times for him to have it ingrained in his muscle memory. No one understood your body more than he. 

Now laying beside your fast asleep fiance, you wonder if the sex life with George will ever reach to that level, or will you forever settle with mediocre fingering. 

/

Within the dark office room of Captain Levi, he stared into the flickering candle as he sighed for the umpteenth time tonight. Seeing you at the banquet brought back so many memories of your time together of which he tried to push away so desperately. He missed you, missed everything about you.

Levi is a man after all. Seeing you in that black dress with the shoulders he once had the luxury to kiss drove him over the edge. Although many spoke rumors of him being an asexual, Levi had his fair share of experience in bed. During his cadet training years, he managed to sneak in some hookups, with the majority of those times occurring after Isabel and Farlan's death. He was desperate to feel something other than despair. Hence, when you appeared in his life it was like finding himself again. He was impressed at how self-aware you were about personal hygiene, and it turned him on immensely. Normally he would leave the second he finished, not bothering to ask the female how she felt or even stayed for a cuddle. But with you, he found himself attached to the way your voice soothed him, during and after sex. In fact, you didn't care about what he said to you but you rather asked him how  _ he _ felt. No one has cared enough to ask him about his feelings, it was new territory. He began to look forward to spending the night with you, and the cuddles after your passionate interactions grew longer to the point he woke up with you sleeping on his chest. It was so peaceful with you. 

That's when Levi realized he didn't just want you for your body, he wanted your love too. It was the moment of love confession between the two of you which made the sex even better, knowing that you entrusted your mind and body to him. But now, that care and trust belong to your fiance.  _ Fucking George, not recognizing what a blessing it is to have you.  _ Levi didn't partake in any sexual activities after the breakup, mostly because he couldn't stand the thought of having a different woman under him, so he settled with angrily masturbating at the thought of you and the mental pictures he could form in his head. He always felt gross whenever he did it, but the amount of stress and workload serving as a Captain made him desperate. Tonight was one of those desperate nights.

_ | _

A week had passed since the banquet, and you returned to your normal routine. It was around 6 pm when George came into the house, he wore a wide grin, "Darling! I have some good news! I managed to have a meeting with Mr. Montez about the potential reallocation of funds within the military, he's in favor of moving 20% of the Military Police's assets into the Survey Corps!"

You dropped the fork you were holding, "Seriously? That's so good to hear! How did you manage to talk him into it? I remember he opposed that idea, about how they're just wasting money feeding the titans." Getting up to take George's coat, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. That's when you smelled perfume. You didn't wear lavender scented perfume. He didn't wear this type of cologne either. 

George chimed in, "Ah, with the charm of my smart words of course. I just had to keep on pushing about how giving the Survey Corps will benefit humanity in the long run when we wouldn't need to worry about the titans that much anymore." He walked towards the dining table, where food was already prepared to his liking. Eating a chunk of the food you made, he said, "Which reminds me, I'll have to make a visit to the Survey Corps headquarters to consult them about how they plan on to use this additional funds, that way I'll have a more solid and detailed plan for change when this goes into effect. Will you come with me?"

"Me? What for?" You said as you sat down and joined him at the table. 

He swallowed another bite, "I thought well since you already know the people there, it might be a more comfortable setting if you appeared by my side while I do the talking. Familiar faces tend to get the meetings run smoothly, they trust you, so in turn, they'll trust me." George explained. "We will leave tomorrow at 9 am, make sure to look presentable." He then pushed back his plate and gave you a quick kiss and a touch on your belly. "I'll go upstairs to freshen up for bed now, thanks for the dinner, darling." 

There it was again, the smell of unknown perfume. "Oh, um, yeah you must be tired from the day." You looked at him as he left the room. 

So many thoughts went through your head. You going to the Survey Corps headquarters tomorrow, a place where you knew so well. Excitement and anxiety filled you, what if they don't welcome you there? What if things have changed too much for you to be considered a familiar face? And...why did George smell like that? Was he with another woman before coming home? No... it can't be, George would never do that. Most importantly, will Levi be there? The thought of Levi made you almost drop the plate you were washing.  _ Calm down, he’s probably busy with his squad and other important stuff. He won’t see me.  _

Glancing down at your belly, you gently rubbed circles around the bump that is now growing bigger. You gently whispered, “I think you’ll like seeing the headquarters tomorrow, it was like my second home.” With that last calming thought of seeing the familiar hallways and offices in the morning, you headed off to bed. 

/

When you and George arrived at headquarters, nostalgia hit you like a wagon. At the entrance, Mike Zacharias greeted you, “Welcome Mr. Bennett, I’m Section Commander Zacharias, nice to meet you.” Instead of reaching out his hand to shake, he stepped in close and sniffed George’s head. “Uhh, darling what is he doing?” The uncomfortable look on George was golden. You giggled, “Good to see that your sense of smell is impeccable as always, Mike.” He smiled and nodded at you. Quiet as always. 

“Commander Smith will join us in a moment, we thought it would be nice to show you around first so you have an idea of what we currently have in terms of structure and supply. Please follow me.” Mike gestured. 

He first showed you and George the stables, explaining that the horses have been managed well and require some new saddles. The tour continued in a similar fashion, summarizing the condition and recommendations. George asked a few questions here and there, while you looked around trying to soak in the familiarity of it all. A few soldiers recognized you and came by to say hello, and you even heard some giggling from young female cadets while pointing at your fiance. Hmm, youth sure is fun. 

By the time Mike led you both to the meeting room, your feet were getting tired and you could feel the water retention building up in your calves. The pregnancy was taking a toll on your physical health. 

You let out a sigh when you finally sat down, finding comfort in even the stiffest chairs in the whole world. “AHH!! I didn’t know you would be attending the meeting today!!”  _ Oh Hange.  _ Truly, you were happy to see her again, but the tiredness is preventing you from greeting her back in her level of energy. Erwin walked in and took a seat after that, “Thank you, Mr. Bennett, for supporting the Survey Corps, we really appreciate the help.” and so the meeting begins.  _ No sign of Levi.  _

The meeting lasted about an hour and a half, with the majority of the time with George and Erwin exchanging ideas while you, Hange, and Mike gave tips. You were feeling dizzy, your head tilted sideways, and vision becoming hazy, the nauseous feeling stirred. “Are you okay?” Hange asked. You used the table as a support, but you stood up too fast, causing you to almost fall to the ground before Hange caught you. The voices in the room stopped, “Darling, do you need to go to the infirmary?” said George. “No, no I’m fine, I just need to step outside for a moment. Please excuse me.” 

As soon as you stepped outside the meeting room, you couldn’t fight nausea anymore. Finding the nearest plant, you emptied out your breakfast into the pot. 

“Are you feeling alright?” The sound of the monotone voiced man said behind you.  _ Shit, why did Levi have to see me at this moment? _

You summoned courage, clearing your throat and standing up straight, “Yes, Captain I’m alright.” You managed a small smile. 

Levi knew George was coming today for the meeting, but he didn’t expect you to be here. “You don’t look alright, do you want some water?” 

Normally you would politely decline and go back into the meeting room, but your throat was dry and the sickness still hasn’t passed. You give in, “Water sounds good.”

“Okay let’s go to the mess hall,” Levi said as he walked over to you. 

Remembering the state of the mess hall, you hesitated, “Um... I’d rather not go into a room of sweaty soldiers and smell of goopy food.” 

“Good call, um...my office then.” Levi stammered. His hands were getting clammy, why was he feeling nervous?

Going to your ex’s office alone doesn’t sound right, but the need to have clean water was too high. You obliged and followed him. “Does your office have apples and potatoes by any chance?”

“Hah? No, but I can get it from the kitchen. You can go in first and wait for me there. You know the way.” said Levi as he already walked away. 

_ Right...I know his office by heart.  _ Flagging down the nearest cadet you sought, you told him to inform Hange that you will be in the Captain’s office. 

/

When Levi came into his office, he found you sitting on the couch with your head leaned on the armrest. To see you in that specific couch in his office reminded him of the many conversations you two held. On that couch, he had poured his deepest traumas to you while you played with his hair; on that couch, you two shared the highlights of your day as you cuddled in each other’s arms; and on that couch, you two said the words “I love you.” for the first time. 

The sound of the door clicking brought you back to reality, you see Levi standing with an apple in his hand and a pitcher of water. “Where’s the potato?” you asked. He walked over to you and sat down, “We ran out of potatoes.” You took a big gulp of water before saying, “What? But an hour ago when I walked by I saw two carts of potatoes.” He shook his head, “Tch. Some brat ate the rest of it when they finished distributing the lunch portion.” 

“But that’s a lot of potatoes...are you sure there’s none left?” You still eagerly asked.

Levi glanced at you, “Oi, I said there’s no more. I’ll get you one another time, okay? Stop asking.” The apple in his hand was already finely peeled and diced by a small knife,  _ he probably kept that knife in his jacket _ . “Here,” Levi said as he handed you a piece.

You gladly took it and munched on it, “Thanks. Sorry about the trouble, I get cravings sometimes and it’s hard to let go when I don’t get the chance to eat it. Hence the potato interrogation.” You sheepishly admitted to him.

“Is it because you’re pregnant?” said Levi as he sipped his cup of tea.

You nodded. He looked at you now. “Are you feeling better?” He asked. “Yeah. Just tired I suppose.”

Levi suggested, “You should head home then, get some rest.”

Shaking your head in response, “I will wait for George to finish the meeting.”

The mention of that dirtbag got his blood boiling again. He can’t lose his temper in front of you, so Levi walked to his desk and began working on paperwork instead. “Well, I’m not going to babysit you, so leave when you finish eating.”

The scratching sounds of pen against paper plus the soreness of your body had you dozing off. Before Levi could ask why you haven’t left yet, he looked up from his paperwork to see you sleeping on his couch. You were so beautiful even when you slept. 

He gently got up from his chair and sat down next to you. Still fuzzy from your previous headache and nausea, the scent of Levi’s clothes had you lean against his shoulder on instinct. The contact made him flutter, oh how he wanted to feel you pressed against him like before. Levi slowly wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer until you were snuggled up against his chest. The familiar feeling of Levi’s body made you instantly relax, but a sudden cramp in your belly made you groan. 

Levi sensed your discomfort, “Shh.. it’s alright, it’s just me.” He said as he brushed your hair lightly. His touch made you so cozy, like sitting in front of a warm fireplace. You wanted more of that warmth. Lazily taking Levi’s free hand and guiding it to your stomach, you pressed his palm on where your current baby bump is. Levi’s breath hitched when he realized what you were doing. 

For just one moment, he would pretend that underneath his palm was his child, with you as his wife falling asleep in his arms. 

The warmth of his hand on your belly made the pain go away, all the while not knowing your subconscious had betrayed your mind about keeping a distance from the man who split your heart into a million pieces. 

If Levi could choose, he would want to stay in this position forever, but the world was never fair to him. A knock came from the door. He mentally cursed at whoever interrupted this moment, “Who is it?” 

“It’s Hange, is she in here with you? I’ve got a message from Mr. Bennett.” 

Levi sighed,  _ she’s still engaged to someone else.  _ Slowly untangling from your body, he gently shook you awake while voicing out to Hange to let her in. 

“Wake up sleepyhead! Your fiance said that he’s having dinner with Mr. Montez in an hour so he’ll be leaving soon.” Hange said to you.

“Huh?” you blinked a few times, “He didn’t tell me that...is he still here?” You asked.

Hange shrugged, “I think he might still be at the main entrance waiting for the carriage.”

At that, you gathered your energy and quickly walked out of Levi’s office. The speed you were walking might concern most mothers, as Hange and Levi were practically chasing up to you, shouting that you should take it slow given your condition. Seeing George in the front, you called to him, “You were just going to leave me here? And you didn’t even care to tell me you had plans for tonight?” 

George turned around to look at you, “Don’t be silly, I thought you would want to stay a bit longer to catch up with your old colleagues, plus I don’t want you wearing  _ that _ to dinner.”

At that last comment, Hange and Levi had raised eyebrows.  _ What’s wrong with how she looks? _

Before you could say anything else, a fancy looking carriage had come in. The door swung open as a girl with a poofy pink dress and over-styled hair walked out. “Oh, George! Daddy and the other guests are waiting for you at the manor.”

Levi stiffened and recognized the voice, it was that woman at the banquet moaning out your fiance’s name. 

“Ah, Francesca! I didn’t expect to receive a personal escort from the Montez’s” George smiled brightly. 

You watched the whole thing as a bystander, Francesca didn’t acknowledge your presence at all, George didn’t even care to introduce you. Also, she’s a Montez?

“Darling, don’t stay up waiting for me okay? You should get some rest after today.” George said to you. You gave him a quick smile before turning to the girl with the most obnoxious voice you’ve ever heard. “Francesca! It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m George’s fiance. I’m assuming you were the one who talked your father into supporting the Survey Corps?” 

Her expression changed from flirtatious to boredom. “Yes, that would be me, you should be thanking me for helping out your low-life friends.”  _ Oh, it’s a battle now.  _ What you did next surprised Francesca, as you closed the distance and hugged her tightly, “Yes! Thank you so much for considering us. We really don’t deserve your kindness.” You took your chance and sniffed at her hair,  _ lavender _ . Then, you whispered in her ear, “Make sure my fiance comes home before 10 pm  _ without _ smelling like a woman’s powder room.” Taking a step back now, Francesca’s face was unreadable, a mix of shock and confusion. 

While you were having a ‘girly conversation’ with Francesca, George had turned to Levi, trying to intimate the Captain through his tall frame. “Captain, I was informed that my fiance was staying in your office after she appeared sick. I would like you to know that she is completely capable of finding the infirmary on her own. So don’t get all so comfy with my woman.”

Levi snorted at that statement. “You consider that as a warning? Well here’s mine,” he took a step closer to George that anyone within that proximity could feel the cold seeping out of the shorter man. “What kind of man goes to a party after the fact that his fiance was puking her intestines out? A shitty one at best.” 

“You calling me a shitbag? Why how dare yo-” George attempted to shove Levi but having fast reflexes, Levi quickly grabbed one of his arms and pinned him to a pole with his face smashed against the cold stones. “So here’s my suggestion Mr. Bennet, don’t go poking your dick in places you shouldn’t. After all, you’ve already got one pregnant woman waiting for you at home, and she’s a very observative person.” 

Letting George’s arm free, Levi resumed his position and acted as if he didn’t almost tear George’s arm in half.

“Well, darling? Don’t let your host wait for you any longer. Be back home before 10 okay?” You said as you walked to George and gave him a rather long kiss on the cheek. 

As you waved to the carriage now carrying your cheating fiance with a sore arm and confused bitchy mistress, you began to make plans, plans to destroy this parasite that’s ruining your future. But for now, you need to eat proper food. “Hange! Would you like to try my spaghetti? I swear it’s better than any food you’ve had in the military.” you smiled at your friend, hoping she didn’t notice anything out of the blue. 

Levi just watched the power play you acted out, surprising the whore by guilt-tripping her as she watches you kiss your fiance in a way she can never publicly do so. In a way he can no longer do either.  _ What a woman you are.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit different, as I wanted to explain more about Reader's take on sex and the realistic scenarios women go through when it comes to losing their virginity and etc. I've read many fanfics about how the main character experiences these magical orgasms during their first time, and while some people do, reality ain't always this pretty and it's okay! With patience and practice, it'll get better ;)
> 
> Also, sorry to disappoint anyone who expected Levi to beat the shit out of George for cheating hahaha... Reader is much stronger than that, she'll have her ways to take down both George and Francesca. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Flowers and Vase

You lay awake, running multiple scenarios in your head of how to confront George and his ‘relationship’ with Francesca Montez. Do you outright call him out? Say ‘hey you son of a bitch, I know you’re cheating on me with that slut.’ or just leave him without ever explaining why? So many tempting options, but none seem to feel right. It always came back to the issue of your pregnancy; you don’t want to raise the child alone nor want to get an abortion. Sounds of the main door opening reached your ears, heavy and uneven footsteps were nearing you. The bedroom door opens and you see George stumbling into the room. You quickly got up and supported George’s stability, “you drank too much again, didn’t you?” You puff.

“Mhrm, nooo wadaru talkin abat??” He replies. Clearly still intoxicated, his arm reaches up to messily unbutton his shirt and quickly gives up as he crashes onto the bed. Eyes closed and chest breathing heavily, your fiancé begins to fall asleep.

Sighing, you managed to take off his shoes and clothes, and that’s when you see purple marks on his shoulder and chest. You went closer to inspect what they were. They’re distributed too closely to be bruises from hitting objects. The sizes of the bruises are all pretty similar too. No fucking way. That lavender scented bitch left hickies? All hopes of the thought that you were just paranoid of George cheating and was only using a new lavender soap you weren't aware of are now completely gone. The image of the perfect man George embodied, the wonderful family life you dreamed of with him shattered in front of you.

He didn’t love you, he wasn’t satisfied with you, he wanted someone that wasn’t you.

Now angered beyond comprehension, you slapped George’s face. He didn’t even flinch at the impact. You slapped him on the other side of his face, again, and again. Looking at your red palm, you began to cry. Why can’t you ever make a difference when someone has taken advantage of you? No matter how hard you tried, you were always undermined. George’s face was now pinker than before, not knowing that you had slapped him and having a breakdown.

As you take deep breaths to calm yourself down, you get up and bring the bowl of water sitting on the bedside next to your feet. You wet a cloth and begin to wipe it on George’s face and body. The tears on your face kept flowing as you cleaned your cheating partner’s body. One hand on your belly, “this is all for you.” you quietly said. As you stare at the marks on George’s upper body, you remember a tip you received during your academy years. Grabbing a pen from the desk in the room, you gently pressed it and rolled it on each and every purple mark on his body, knowing that this trick will unclot some of the ‘bruising’ and lighten the color quickly.

George made a low groan as you eased some of the tension on his chest, looking at George’s sleeping face, you leaned next to his ear and said, “You will take care of our child, and from now on, I will make sure you regret ever looking at other women.” You moved closer to where those marks of infidelity are and lightly kissed each of them, as well as reaching back up to suck on the spot you knew George liked most. He instantly let out a satisfied sigh even though he was quite unconscious. “I’m your fiance, the mother of your child, remember that.” you reinstated.

Apparently he did hear that last statement as he lazily put one hand on your waist and mumbled, “okay... my darling.” Scoffing at that pet name, you put the cloth and water away with one last idea for the night. You take off all of your clothes as well as George’s underwear, then proceed to fall asleep with thoughts of how to take back what was yours.

/

The next morning, George woke up with an intense headache as he attempted to remember what happened last night as he saw your naked body next to him. Over breakfast, he asked you, “Darling, did we make love after I came home yesterday?” You stared at your fork for a second and looked at him with bright eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember, sweetie? You stumbled into our bedroom and started kissing me like there was no tomorrow.” You fake a giggle. _I hate myself._

George looked confused as he tried to remember but failed, “Ah, I suppose I drank a bit too much last night at the Montez’s. Thank you for taking care of me, I’m grateful to have you.” He gave a small smile. _Yeah, you better be, asshole._

This was your chance, “Speaking of the Montez, I was thinking about inviting Francesca for dinner at our house this week! I want to personally thank her for pushing the funds in favor of the Survey Corp and helping my old colleagues. What do you think?”

The widening of George’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by you. _You’re in my game now._ He cleared his throat, “uhm, how about dinner at a restaurant? I don’t want you to stress about cleaning and cooking while there’s a small person growing inside of you.” _This is the best excuse you can think of, George?_ “Oh it’s no problem at all! We haven’t had guests in our home in a while, it’d be a good chance to liven up this place if we invited sweet Francesca, plus I have a feeling she will be a great friend of ours…” You pause, “Who knows, maybe she will be our child’s future godmother?”

George choked on his tea at the last comment, “My, my, that’s thinking a bit too far ahead, darling. You still got six months to go, no need to start thinking about godparents yet.” Sensing his defeat, he takes your hand, “Alright, if you’re eager to invite her to dinner then let’s do that, but I’ll ask for a maid to help you out. Deal?”

You give your fake happy smile, “Oh yes, deal! You’re the best! Ah, I must start planning the menu.” _This dinner will be so juicy_.

/

When you walk down the stairs in the morning, you notice four maids bustling around in the dining room and kitchen. One of them notices your presence, “Good morning, Miss. We are responsible for making the meals for the dinner party tonight. A pleasure to be of service.”

You blink twice, not fully comprehending that there’s a whole team of women to take care of a simple dinner. “Um.. thank you. But this is just a dinner for three people, it looks like you’re preparing for a whole feast!”

The charming voice of your fiance came in, “That’s because it is! I’ve taken your idea of thanking Francesca tonight and went ahead to invite Mr. Montez, a few politicians...oh and Commander Smith!”

Looking at George standing by the living room door, you turned to him and asked “What do you mean? I thought we agreed it will just be us two and Ms. Montez for a more private dinner? At least tell me we were expecting these new additions to our party.”

You mentally sighed, George always did this, keeping you out of the loop of plans until the very last minute. Leaving you no room to refuse nor further negotiate. “And.. wait did you say you also invited the Commander?”

“Yes! Isn’t that great, darling? To have humanity’s greatest leader in our home, discussing further plans to make society better, plus I’m sure they’ll be good company.” George grinned. This isn’t what you initially planned; you just wanted to have Francesca and George to freak out a little bit during your dinner tonight, but now you have to worry about keeping other guests content and blabber on with political talk while you grin politely. Fuck this. Erwin will probably have to drink away the irritation, you thought.

/

“Fuck no I’m not going to a shitty dinner party with you, Erwin. I’m already occupied with the load of paperwork you dumped this week.” Said the irritated Captain.

Erwin sat up straighter on his chair and persisted, “Come on Levi, I know you also want to eat some food that isn’t ‘goopy piece of shit’. Plus, it’s at Mr. Bennett’s house. Knowing him, there will probably be some alcoho-’

“ _The_ Mr. Bennett? George Bennett? Mister-let-me-kiss-some-more-commander-ass Bennett?” Levi grumbled out.

Folding his hands on the desk, Erwin continued, “Yes, and _she_ will be there.” Knowing that’s what Levi really was asking about, he couldn’t care less of whether George is the host or not.

The Commander looked at the conflicted look on Levi’s face. “Our carriage will leave at 6pm, Hange will be coming along. Don’t be late.”

“Tch, first you invite four-eyes to tag along and then you insult my punctuality. Maybe you should go look at the shape of your eyebrows, Erwin, I think they’ll grow too thick by tonight and block your eyesight, causing you to trip and land in a pile of horse shit. Then we’ll see who’s late.” responded an irritated Levi. 

As the Captain swiftly leaves Erwin’s office, his mind wanders to how he’ll react to seeing you again after sharing a short-lived cuddle in his office two weeks ago, even if you were unaware of the warm act. In addition, the whole incident of Geoge’s affair is bothering him to no end. Levi wonders if you knew, or whether he should even tell you. Perhaps a private conversation with you will suffice? 

/

As carriage after carriage goes by the front of your house, you welcome in the guests into your humble home. When George said he invited ‘some’ politicians, he meant he had invited twelve. The glare you received from Francesca when she arrived was ignored as you gestured to her and her father to enter the living room for mingling. You look out to count and realize there should be one more carriage coming, that’s when you notice a familiar looking carriage, reminding you of the times you rode on your way to state dinners with Levi…

_No fucking way._

Your eyes widen as you see Erwin, Hange, and Levi step out of their ride and walk towards your front door. To say you were surprised to see Hange, and especially Levi, come to a politician’s dinner party is an understatement. Hange never went to these, the political talk bored her to no end, preferring to hole up in her lab and study some weird specimen she found. Levi on the other hand, well, he despised gatherings in general. 

Just in time, George popped up behind you to welcome the new party into your home. “Ah! The Survey Corp heroes have arrived! The party has now begun.” boomed George’s voice as you grimaced at his choice of words. You put on your usual smile and curtsied for the umpteenth time tonight. “We’re delighted to have you in our home, please come in.” You said.

“WOWWW this is your current base, huh? Not bad, not bad at all.” said Hange and she was the first one to be ushered inside and took a quick glance at the interior design.

You chuckled at her statement, “Thank you Hange, but this is only the foyer, wait till you see the dining room.”

As you close the door and lead them to where the rest of the party was residing, Levi was filled with awe and guilt as he took in everything his eyes could absorb. The wooden walls were polished, filled with paintings that looked like it was worth his monthly salary, and despite being just the foyer, it was lit up so brightly with matching candlelight holders. So this is where you lived now, he thought. Compared to the previous small living quarters you shared during your times together, this house was too out of reach for Levi to achieve. Thinking back, the room Levi and you stayed in had barely any furniture other than the necessary items. You even had to share the closet with him, and the tea table was always unbalanced to the point you invented a little block to support the table leg. You lived so much better now, you deserved the luxury. 

From the dress you wore to the way you walked down the decorated hallway, it fitted you perfectly. Levi quietl sighed as he felt disappointed that he wasn’t the one to provide you this life. No matter how many titans he killed, no matter how much more life he could give in to his profession, he wouldn’t be able to buy you all this. He remembers the conversation you two had, talking about how you wanted to buy this particular vase while shopping at the market to liven up your room. Yet Levi merely dismissed it by saying it was pointless buying useless pots when the flowers will just die in a few days.

But now, you could have any vase in the world, with however many flowers you like. You could just buy another set if the previous one wilted away. Levi tried to shake away the ache as he finally returned to the situation at hand, which was sitting down having dinner with snobby political heads. 

/

Pleasantries were exchanged, debates went around, and women gossip were passed back and forth. You kept your eyes on Francesca and George, noticing the brief glances they shared across the room. You just wanted a private talk with lavender slut. Why did George have to make things so difficult? On top of that, Levi just had to be here too. Your mind was all over the place as you tried to keep your heart in check. No doubt, this setting was too much for Levi. You noticed the way he looked around the room before a wave of sadness adorned his pale face. The drawing room design was an exact replica of the vision you shared with Levi when you two had a calming tea session. You went into great detail of what the wallpaper design would be, or the positioning of the piano so that it would face the sunset. It was a blissful emotion to see your daydream come alive, but it always felt empty despite it being designed perfectly. It was lonely without him, you realize. 

“Are you in there?” Erwin’s voice finally reached your ears as you snapped your eyes back to him.

“Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking about something.” You sheepishly say.

Erwin grinned, “We all have those times. Lovely home you have here, did you design it?”

“Well, parts of it, yes. Mainly this room, the kitchen, and the spare room upstairs.” You replied.

Hange piped up, “Awesome! I knew you couldn’t stay away from designing things forever. You were the Goddess of Invention afterall.”

Hearing that nickname your ears turn slightly pink, “Hange! I thought we would leave that nickname behind. It was just a dumb thing my academy classmate came up with as a joke.”

“Ha, but it still applies today. Don’t you think so, Erwin?” said the mad scientist.

Erwin’s facial expression changed to a serious one, “Hange is right, we could use some of that talent you know. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about a project the Survey Corp has been planning. May we go somewhere quieter?” 

You were surprised by the sudden change in tone, but you obliged, leading the two into a study. As you were about to close the door, Levi stepped in and did it instead. He looked indifferent as you nodded at him.

“What’s this about?” You ask.

Erwin stepped into the center of the room and faced you, “What we say in this room will only stay between us. Understood?” You straightened your back, “Yes, sir.” 

“You heard about the titan boy, right? The one who’s capable of shifting into a titan?” he asks.

You nodded, “Of course, everyone won’t stop talking about it.” 

The Commander continues, “There is an expedition set to happen in two months, and there’s a certain asset we are currently designing. However, due to lack of manpower, it’s behind schedule in terms of weapons development.” The confused look on your face is received, “Now, this is where it could concern you. I would like to extend a temporary job offer to you, we require your assistance in completing this asset as soon as possible so we may move ahead with plans.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, the Commander specifically coming this way to ask for your expertise. This must be a serious expedition, you deduce. “But given your current condition, I understand if you don’t want to accept this. It may require late working hours and irregular schedules.” Hange comments. 

“I accept.” You state out.

Your quick answer shocks the trio. Levi raises his eyebrow, “Are you sure? What would your _dear_ George say?” 

You scoff at his question, “I’ll talk to him about it, after the fact, that is. Just like how he does to me. Besides, I’m getting bored sitting around all day, feeling like it’s time to bust out the gears again.” 

The trio wants to question you further by what you said regarding George, but Erwin cuts in. “We will prepare you a room and office as usual if you wish to stay at the headquarters, the work will begin this coming Monday. This is strictly confidential, if anyone asks, just say you’re there to give consultation to engineering trainees.” 

You nod. This will definitely change things up, you thought. You’ve always wanted to try out new weapon designs, but with strict budgets and misogynists as directors, you didn’t even get the chance to develop anything new on your own. But with Erwin’s support, you may actually shift the whole regime. When you were about to leave the room, Levi cleared his throat to grab your attention. “Can I have a minute with you?” He glances at Hange and Erwin, “Alone.” The two gave knowing nods while Hange flashed you a cheeky grin on her way out. _This can’t be good_.

You decided to sit down on one of the sofas in the study. Now folding your arms, you said, “What is it this time? Last time you wanted to speak alone it didn’t turn out positively, _Captain._ ” Flashes of your confrontation with Levi at the ball hurt your brain as the emotions resurfaced.

Levi’s brows furrowed, he leaned against the wooden desk as he began, “I apologize for stepping out of line that time, it was wrong to do so. But that’s what I wanted to speak to you about actually. It’s about George during the ball.”

You looked up at him now, “What about him? If you insult him again I swear I will kick you out of this place.”

Levi learned that his straightforwardness didn’t go well previously, so instead, he talked around the issue. “Um..it’s a nice house. Did he buy it for you?” You raised an eyebrow at his random question. “Not exactly, this house belonged to his late father, and he let me redesign parts of the house because the older version reminded too much of his mother, who passed away when he was a teenager.” Levi nodded, “The drawing room is your work, isn’t it? It’s exactly the way you envisioned.”

You bit your lip at his last comment. Why is he trying to bring that up now? This conversation is going nowhere. “Alright, Levi. We both know you didn’t want to discuss interior design with me, so just spit out whatever it is you want to say. I’ve got to return to other guests, you know.”

Levi sighed, he slowly looked up at you and battled within deciding whether he should tell you at all. Hurting you was the last thing on his mind, but it seems like that’s the only constant thing he has managed to do. “Do you know about George’s...relationship with Francesca?”

Now that surprised you. How did Levi know? “What do you mean exactly?” You ask. You can’t flat out admit it just yet. He started rubbing the back of his neck, a sign of confliction you recognize. “At the ball, I saw him fucking her in one of the cabinets.” Levi spat out.

Your eyes widened, George was getting off to someone in a public space while you had a tired body all night? Levi’s witness already proves your fiance’s infidelity, there’s no saving his reputation anymore. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, and stood up. Back facing Levi, “What did I say about staying out of my business?” You say coldly. “You seem to take a liking in poking around my relationship. I suggest you detach yourself from people that don’t concern you.” 

Mouth slightly open, Levi can’t believe you’re just brushing this issue off when he outright told you George was cheating. “You knew? And you’re just going to pretend that nothing has happened? How did you steep so low? What happened to wanting a fair and honest relationship, oh, all because he knocked you up like a piece of shit with no sense of responsibi-” 

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as you slapped him. Your breathing was heavy now, “Don’t you think I know that? I’m not an idiot, I sensed something was off when he came home smelling like lavenders and a chest full of hickies left by another woman. But life is unfair, you understand that much. Yes, my pregnancy is unexpected and a hindrance at times, but what am I supposed to do? Leave all of this comfort and raise the child alone with no financial support? Tell me, Levi. What did you expect me to do after you told me you saw George cheating? Run away and cry about it?”

Levi stared at the floor, trying to take in what you just said. “There are ways to get out of this, you can’t possibly stay with him like this. You won’t have a happy marriage.”

Frustration and anger are all that filled you, “Happiness? You want to talk about happiness? Men are all the same, even if I leave George to ‘find happiness’ with another man, he’ll commit the same sin eventually and forget about me. I’m never good enough for them, I realized that. No matter what I do, I just can’t satisfy anyone.” 

Levi shook his head, “That’s not true, they just don’t appreciate your worth, they don’t deserve your love.”

There was a slight pause, you swallowed the lump in your throat before saying, “Then why did _you_ leave me?” Finally this question has been asked. Tears on the verge of falling, you found the courage to look straight in his eyes.

Cold, gray eyes stared back. No emotions were shown. “I… I just couldn’t stay with you anymore.” You sniffed, “Yes, but _why_? Give me any reason, Levi. Was I too boring? Didn’t clean well enough? Too nagging for you? Was it the sex? Was it-”

“No, no, none of those. You were perfect, _I_ was the problem.” He said as he took the hand which you slapped him with.

“What? I don’t understand.” You looked at the man that held all the love you could give, if only he accepted it. 

Levi held your hand a little tighter. “I couldn't hold you back in life. Look at how much better you live now, no more worrying about whether there’s enough space to put your belongings in the room, or whether you’ll have enough food for the day. I couldn’t give you any of this. Let alone guarantee that I would return to you alive.” All of the burdens were confessed to you. His insecurities regarding the future you both wanted are out. 

The first tear rolled down on your cheek, “That was the reason? That you couldn’t give me fancy things? We talked about the life and death issue so many times, Levi. I would stay with you even if your job demanded all the possible risks.” 

“You say that but I just can’t bear looking at your face whenever I had to say goodbye the night before an expedition. It pains me, so much, to think that one day I just might not come back and leave you all alone before we even got a chance to settle down.” He paused as he gently wiped away the tears on your cheeks. 

You shivered at his touch, but when the answer you sought for so long finally came, you didn’t know how to react. Reaching his hand resting on your face, you intertwined his fingers with yours. “Why didn’t you just tell me? We would’ve talked it out like we always did, I had savings, we could’ve bought a place just for the two of us. And, if it worried you so much about not being able to see me, I could’ve gone along with you outside the walls. I was a trained soldier too, Levi.”

He looked at the locked hands, a sense of ache and sadness washing over him. You continued to speak, “If only you just asked, I would’ve said yes to a life with you. To marriage, to creating a family. The answer would be yes, always.”

Your confession was like a wake-up call for Levi. Hearing you say you would commit to him, with or without the luxurious items, as well as the extent you would go just to stay with him, regardless if it was just for one more living day, it broke and warmed Levi’s heart. You always managed to love him given any situation, yet he let his insecurities and worries prevent any of it to happen. 

He stared at you for the longest time and moved slowly towards your face. Your heart starts to beat faster, you close your eyes as the feeling of heat rises in the back of your neck anticipating the lips you knew so well. But it never came. You snap your eyes open to see Levi’s contemplative face mere inches away from you, yet he wasn’t looking into your eyes. He was staring at the ring on your intertwined hands. 

Right, you remember you were already engaged to someone else, and you carried his child too. Levi’s warmth left as he untangled his hand from yours. Looking at you now, he says “I always make you cry, don’t I?” You let out a small laugh. “I’m sorry. If only I wasn’t so close-minded, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. It’s my fault that we can’t go back to what we had. George is really lucky to have you, and I know you’ll be an amazing mother.” With that, he leaves the room, leaving you still shaken from his words.

For the first time in a year, you’ve felt alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back to our regular angst program, thank you for tuning in.
> 
> Sorry for the late update! I am a full-time uni student and midterms are coming up. This is my way of procrastinating and mental release lol. Comments and feedback are always appreciated, thanks for taking the time to read my work, and hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Reconciliation

The words Levi spoke mere moments ago continues to replay as you stood frozen next to the desk. He left me because he thinks he wasn’t good enough. The whole ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ confession out of the cold man makes you bitterly laugh. What a joke this was. As you gather your emotions, you hear glass shattering and a high-pitched shriek. You quickly step out of the study and motion towards the source of calamity. The scene before you was incredible, it’s as if time had stopped. All the guests looked towards the sofas in the living room, where Hange stood with her hands covering her mouth, repeatedly saying “I’m so sorry Miss, I didn’t realize you were standing behind me. I’m so sorry.” In front of Hange was Francesca fussing over her now tea-stained dress, whereas George just happens to be next to her rapidly using a cloth to clean off her chest. What a laughable scene. 

You finally walk towards the center of attention, “What happened here? Hange, are you alright?” 

Miss Lavender Detergent let out a frustrated groan, “Ugh! Your clumsy friend over here just dumped all of her tea on me, and you’re asking HER if she’s alright? Look at me! I am the one suffering! I just got this dress too!”

You mentally roll your eyes as you face Francesca now, “Sorry about your dress tragedy Ms. Montez, come with me upstairs and we’ll get you a fresh dress… George you may stop touching her now.” You glare at your fiance as you swat his hand away. “Please reassure our guests that everything is under control.” Leaving the room with a small smile, you gesture Francesca to follow you to your room. 

Upon entering the room, Francesca wouldn’t stop complaining about her dress as you searched for a clean one. “This is ridiculous, she might as well be blind if those ugly glasses of hers don’t even do the job.” You stiffen at her rudeness, “She meant no harm, besides, I’m sure you enjoyed George’s hands all over you in public.” You said as you handed the dress to her. 

Hearing that last statement, Francesca’s cheeks turned pink momentarily before revealing a devilish smirk. “Georgie tends to be touchy sometimes, does he not?” Georgie? You raise an eyebrow. “Ah, I suppose you wouldn’t know that. He tells me how boring your...bedroom activities can be.” She moves closer to you now, “That’s why he comes to me.” She whispers. 

You can’t back down, now is not the time to show weakness. Compared to the damage you have gone through all these years, a simple pest like Francesca won’t scare you. You start to chuckle, a chuckle evolves into full laughter. The woman in front of you takes a step back as she clutches her hands in disbelief, “Why.. why are you laughing?” 

“Oh, sweet Francesca. I was wondering how long before you or George will confess your little activities to me.” You smirk as you corner her against the closet door. Lifting your right hand to pull back a strand of her loose hair, “Tell me, how long do you think George will continue his getaways with you until he finds another slut?” You said.

Her face changes from confusion to denial, “You don't know what you're talking about, Georgie will never leave me! He needs me, especially since you obviously can’t satisfy him as I do. He even said he loves me!” 

You shake your head at her gullibleness, “Poor girl, thinking words will prove anything. If he loves you so much, why am I the one that’s marrying him and already carries his future child? What part do you play in his life other than a quick fuck? Why aren’t you in my place then?”

Overwhelmed with your rhetorical questions, Francesca stands shocked as her body has no room to run, nowhere to hide. “He… he said he would leave you, if only you didn’t get pregnant he would’ve been mine and mine only!” Her eyes are tearing up now, “This is all your fault! He’s the love of my life! And you took him away from me!” 

“Oh? My fault, is it? What do you intend to do then? Continue to service his cock in secrecy while our children and I sleep soundly under the same house?” You pause, this is just getting started. “Let me explain to you why he will never choose you. You’re irrational, hot-tempered, spoiled, and overall an annoying bitch to anyone in the same room as you. What he needs is a mature woman who knows when to shut up and serve him as his political asset. Can you do that? No. Hence, George will never publicly profess his ‘love’ to you no matter how well you make him cum.”

You take a deep inhale, the sooner you get rid of her the better. “You’re still young Francesca, go find someone who will treat you right with all the love you desire. Leave George and me alone.”

Her face is red and puffy now, this was not how she imagined the confrontation to be. In her head, she thought you would lash out, slap her, and leave George all heart-broken so he would go to her for comfort. Instead, you’re the calm one whereas she’s trying her best to contain her tears. She really can’t compete with you, she realizes. It’s all becoming clear now, the strained smile you always put on during events and keeping an appropriate distance from George even though you two were already an official couple. Whereas she always jumps on him whenever she sees him, now remembering the way George would flinch or try to shush her when she excitedly yelled his name. Marrying him would be a life of restrictions and underwhelming affection, she didn’t want that. You were right, what proof does she have that he won’t find another girl to have fun with when she starts getting wrinkles on her face or when her body is no longer desirable for him?

Her tears are flowing freely now, digesting in the reality you clearly lined up to her. You notice her silence and distraught face. You sigh, “I think we’re done here, get changed, and look presentable when you return to the party. I will deal with George.” Not caring enough to look back, you closed the door and let out a breath you were holding. No more confessions tonight, you say to yourself. 

By the time you got downstairs, you notice a few guests have left, you even almost missed the Survey Corp trio on their way out. “Ah, we were wondering whether you would even come back down after that, uhm, accident,” Erwin said. You gave him a reassuring nod, “It’s taken care of, no need to worry further, Hange be careful next time alright?” The scientist nodded like a little kid after being scolded. You notice Levi wasn’t with them, probably already in the carriage, you thought. As Erwin and Hange walk out of the door, he looks back at you, “We’ll see you on Monday. It’s good to have you back.” You wave at them before seeing the shadow of the man you used to love, or rather, still love?

/

Monday morning arrives, giving you the jitters as you double-check you have all your necessary belongings packed in the suitcase. George yawns as he moves over to you, “Why are you packing?” You continue to fold your clothes, saying “I’ll be working at the Survey Corp for a while, they have some engineer trainees and require my assistance.” Looking confused, George continues asking, “What? Since when did you go back to working for the military? I thought you quit.” 

You walk towards the bathroom, checking if you left any toiletries behind. “Since today. It’s just temporary work. You’ll behave on your own while I’m away, right?” He followed you into the bathroom, “Wait wait wait, how come I’m just finding this out now? And what about dinners, do you expect me to cook it myself?” 

You face George now, brushing the lint off of his shoulders, “Commander Smith asked me to help out when he came to our dinner party, so it was quite last minute for all of us. As for dinner, you can always hire a cook or a maid to do the house chores.” Your fiance gives you a frown, “But that means I’ll be sleeping alone until you come back?” 

So this is all he thinks about? Having a woman to cook and clean for him? No ‘I wish you luck on helping the military’ or ‘I’ll come by sometime to say hi to my pregnant fiance’. Cupping his face, you lean in “Well if you ever get bored, you could always invite Francesca over. My dear Georgie.” 

He freezes in your hands, “Darling, wh- what do you mean? What does she have to do with anything?” You squeeze his face even harder, “Oh, well I thought since you two seem to have fun together, you might as well invite her over while I’m away. You can even let her sleep in our bed, considering we’re already sharing the same man.” 

Letting go of his face, you turn your attention to your suitcase, “If you ever miss me, just come by the office and we can have a lunch date or something.” The suitcase is closed and packed as you gesture George to carry it downstairs. He’s still unsure of how to respond, moreover, can’t comprehend how you’re not mad at him at this moment.

Seeing the carriage that’s here to pick you up, you take the suitcase from George as he finally composes himself, “Wait, darling, this is a misunderstanding. Can’t you stay just for a bit? I’ll explain everything, just don’t go yet.” 

You glance back at him as you wave to the driver, “What is there to explain? I already said you can have sleepovers with Francesca, so have fun!” He’s grabbing onto your hand now, “No, no I’m sorry I didn’t know what I was doing, please stay with me in the house?” 

You chuckle at his desperation now, men are just giant babies. You reach for his chest as you quickly give him a peck on the lips. “I think it’ll do us good if we have some time apart, come to me when you’ve reflected on what you did to me, and what you almost did to our child.” You cringe at how you sounded like a mother giving their child a time-out, but honestly, it was what this cheating piece of trash needed. Having George completely wrapped around your finger is a nice feeling, quite empowering you think. As the carriage door closes, you wave at your confused fiance as you turn your energy towards what lies ahead in your new job. 

/

The temporary confidential job turns out to be inventing a barrel that could shoot out metal rods at a given target. The main issue before you assisted the engineering team was that the metal rods wouldn’t shoot past 5 meters, which was a definite set-back if the target titan was higher than 10 meters. Your office was small, but enough space for a general desk, bookshelf, and a small sofa. Given your pregnancy condition, Commander Smith allowed you to sleep in a single room with a bathroom so you could attend to your needs easily. Two weeks pass by and the routine has been quite steady; wake up, meet with the engineering team, eat, report to Hange, sleep. No sign of Levi yet.

It hasn’t occurred to you yet that George didn’t visit you once during your stay, it was only when you received a package one morning that reminded you that you still had a fiance at home. A cadet came knocking at your door, “Hey Miss Inventor, this package says it’s for you..uh… from George Bennett?” Motioning for him to set it on the table, you took out a small knife to reveal the contents inside the box. To your surprise, it was filled with fresh vegetables, bread, and some cookies you liked. On the side was a note, written: 

‘I know how the military food can be insufficient, make sure to eat healthy for two. Love, George.

P.s. I will come by this afternoon.’ 

The cadet next to you peeked over your shoulder and mumbled, “Wow, looks like you’ve got a keeper, Miss! I wish someone would send me nice food. Hey, what did he mean by to eat for two?” You folded the note and started sorting through the items George sent, perhaps he’s trying to make up for his lack of love. Grabbing a potato from the box, you hand it to the cadet. “Here, you’ve been working hard as well, Connie.” The smile on Connie was immediate, he thanked you and hurriedly dashed out. You're glad he already forgot about his question, plus you wonder if he’s going to hide in his dorm to savor the potato alone, knowing there’s a particular soldier known as the ‘potato girl’. 

True to his word, George arrives around 4 pm. Hange happened to be outside when George came by, so she led him to your office. The first thing he did when he entered was to hug you and give you a quick kiss on the forehead. “Hi honey, I missed you.” You hold onto his arm, but turned to Hange first, “Thanks Hange, I’m sure you have a lot of work to do. I’ll give you the status update after this.” She gives you a thumbs up and closes the door on her way out.

“As for you, I suppose I should thank you for the care package this morning.” You say as you look at your fiance. His lips curved up slightly, acknowledging your gratitude, but quickly turned serious. “I’m really, truly sorry for what I did. I was going to end things with Francesca soon but she wouldn’t let go. I hope you can forgive me.” 

That was his apology? By blaming the woman for how he couldn’t be loyal sooner? Pathetic. Sighing, you say “It’ll take some time. George, I want you to understand how I felt when I discovered you were cheating on me. All the affection I gave you was thrown out the window. Do you have any idea how badly it hurt to know my soon-to-be husband wouldn’t even look in my direction while I carried his child? I did everything for you, supported you, followed you, even loved you. And this is what I got in return?” Your grip on his forearms became tighter with each sentence.

George looked at your pain-stricken face, finally, the guilt and shame hit him. “I- I promise I will be faithful to you. I’ll take care of you and make sure our child will grow up in a loving home. Now and forever.” He takes hold of your hands in between the gap of your two bodies and kisses them lightly. “I’m an asshole for what I did, please, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I won’t keep things from you anymore.” 

To see the charming man you met at the bookstore begging you to forgive him shatters you inside. You don’t know if you could ever love him like you used to, yet hearing his regret and desperation, you let the grudge go. Perhaps you will learn again to trust him, to care for him with all your heart, and to raise a family with him. 

In return, you kiss your joined hands. “I just want your undivided love, George.”

He removes one hand to caress the side of your face, wiping a small tear that managed to escape. “I will do my best for you, and only you.” A moment of silence passed before he spoke again, “I’ve been thinking, what if we move up our wedding date?” 

His question catches your attention, “What? Why?” He continues, “Well, I don’t really see the point of waiting for another month, we already finalized most things, you just need to get your dress altered.” Multiple concerns crossed your head, “Wait, but I’m still working for the Survey Corps, I don’t have the time to try on dresses, let alone do a wedding now.” 

George shrugged, “We could always ask the tailor to come by your office for the fitting, and as for the actual wedding, I was planning that we do it in two weeks? On a Sunday where you’ll have time off for sure.” You blink a few times, trying to process this change of plans. “Are you sure you want to do it so soon? I mean, what if the guests can’t come, or the venue isn’t available? We spent so long planning the whole thing.” Your fiance chuckles at your attention to detail, “Don’t worry about guests and all that, at the end of the day, it only matters that I get to call you my wife.” 

The last comment gives you a warm tingling feel. ‘My wife’ you thought. Relaxing your shoulders, you finally say, “Alright, let’s do it. Keep it as simple as possible, and most importantly, keep me informed of any changes. Okay?”

At your approval, George puts on a big smile and hugs you as he swirls you in a circle. “Of course! I can’t let the bride be out of the loop of her own wedding.” You giggle at his actions. 

Pulling away from his embrace, you lock eyes with him. He glances at your lips then back up to your gaze. Slowly, you accept the warmth of his lips as it reaches you, mouths moving in a rhythmic motion. His arms wrap around your back and waist, pulling you in closer as he deepens the kiss. You haven’t felt this in a while, always quick pecks and forehead kisses for the past few months. The heat between your mouths and sounds of lips locking and detaching makes you crave for more. You rummage your hands in his hair as a small moan escapes you. 

Noticing your eagerness, he parts from you to get some air. “Not here, let’s go home for the night, shall we?”

You’ve completely forgotten that you’re still at the office. Clearing your throat, “Yes, I just need to give this report to Hange and we can go.”

Unbeknownst to you and your partner, Hange had been eavesdropping the whole time. Hearing that you were set to leave for the night, she quickly dashes from the door and down the hallway to her own office. After a few moments, she sees your face again as you drop off the report and bid goodnight. “Have a nice night, you two,” Hange says.

This has been the most interesting thing to pop up tonight. George cheating and moving up the wedding date? Oh, this was hefty, and she needed to share it with someone badly. Flipping back the cover of the report you just left her, Hange rushes to the office of a particular man.

The door bangs open. “Shorty!!! I’ve got big news.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much Levi in this chapter, but the plot has thiccened.


	6. Titan Fodder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be mentions of self-harm, but nothing graphic.

“What?!” Levi said as he clenched the report he was reading. Hange’s burst in his office was already a pain, yet she had the audacity to tell him that she overheard you talking with your fiance.

The mad scientist bubbled excitedly, “Yep! You heard me, they’re moving up the wedding to happen in two weeks! They even talked about her trying on her wedding dress here, at the office. Oh.. and, something about George not keeping secrets from her anymore.”

Levi rubbed his temples, he had been ignoring you ever since you arrived at headquarters, not wanting to face you. He even went to great lengths to walk the long route rather than go through the hallway of your department. But now, hearing that your big day was arriving so soon… and that somehow George had pulled through his shitty ass and made amends with you, it was irritating him to no end.

The Captain eyed Hange, “What were you doing snooping around outside her office? And why are you telling me this? Don’t you have something else better to do, four-eyes.”

Hange slammed her fists on Levi’s desk, “This is our friend we’re talking about! Don’t you want to know what’s happening with her? Don’t get all sad and mopey when she doesn’t invite you to her wedding.”

 _I wish I was the one standing with her at the wedding_... Levi thought.

“Just leave. Now.” He bit out. With a huff, Hange walked out of Levi’s office, leaving the door purposely open when she left, knowing how much it irritated the short man.

Not able to focus on his tasks on hand, Levi let his mind wander to the state he was in. Why was it so easy for you to forgive George? Dishonesty was your number one red flag in a partner, and he committed it repeatedly, yet you were still standing by George, not wavering at all. Perhaps it was the way George phrased his words, perhaps it was his ability to talk you out of it.

Levi suddenly remembered the times you two had arguments. It was always you attempting to get Levi to speak about the issue while he continued to give you the silent treatment. Ignoring it was his best strategy. He hated fighting with you, so when he finally couldn’t take the distance and no-talking streak, he would eventually apologize and make up. His tendency to avoid emotional problems and waiting it out to solve the issues finally backfired this time. Levi sighed once more, wishing how he could turn back time and apologize for all those incidents he made you upset, and be an actual man with his feelings for once. If only he did that, maybe you wouldn’t be marrying someone else in two weeks.

* * *

*flashback*

"Levi, please, just talk to me. You can't ignore me forever!" You said irritatedly as you stood in front of his office desk. 

Not even bothering to look up, he continues to scribble away on a report. "I'm busy, and there's nothing to talk about."

You throw your hands in the air, "Nothing to talk about?! You are deliberately preventing me from doing my job as a soldier! I've been on previous expeditions, I know what it's like outside. If it was any other soldier you wouldn't hesitate to send a soldier out to perform their duty as a Survey Corps member." You practically yelled.

He slammed his fists on the desk, startling you by his outburst."That's _exactly_ why I'm not letting you go. You're not just an ordinary soldier, alright? Not to me."

"But I can't stay behind all the time while our comrades go out there and sacrifice their lives for humanity. I designed these weapons to use, I have the right to use them in battle too." You said as you reason your way through his head. 

He looked up at you, "That's what you want? To put yourself in danger because you want to test out your toys?"

Your anger was boiling, "They're not toys! Do NOT treat me like a child, Levi. Have you got no faith in all the years I've put in training? I even received private training from 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier' himself. Are you undermining your own skills? Hmm? Or are you too afraid to let me go because you think you'll be coming back to an empty bed with no one to fuck?"

"Don't. Say. That." Steel-grey eyes glared back.

You knew you were pushing his buttons, but you won't back down by some glare. "Oh ho ho, so that IS the reason. I see you've become too comfortable with a soldier, _Captain._ I thought you said you wouldn't let feelings get involved, are you growing soft on me?" You point an angry finger at him, "I know what you're thinking. I'm a nuisance to you, a fuck-up that can't protect herself nor her comrades, and is best to be left behind locked away in a tiny-ass office because it would just be a waste of resources if I tag along on expeditions since I'll drop dead the second I run into a titan." 

Levi has had enough as well, "Yeah, you're a fucking pain in the ass, who trips over nothing while walking. Do you think I'd let you go outside the walls like a fucking child wanting to ride a slide in a playground? You might as well dig your own grave, titan fodder." 

His words sting like hell. You didn't expect for him to say those back, you thought he would at least say something reassuring about your skills. Anger and frustration were too overwhelming for you to cry.

"Fine. Since I'm already deemed as titan fodder quality, I'll volunteer myself as fresh meat to those lovely titans with the approval of Commander Smith. You could even chop me up first and feed any titans along the way like giving them treats. Oh, here you go, ugly titan, have an arm from this engineer piece of shit. Oh! An abnormal! You get the thighs, plus the Captain approves of this quality."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you got no value for your own life? I see you've been filling your head with too much shit you can't even function properly. All those books and studying were wasted. Elegance and intelligent my ass, no wonder you couldn't find a man to marry you." Levi couldn't stop the words from flowing out. Before he knew it, he crossed a sensitive topic. 

Clenching your fists and letting out a dry laugh, "Well, either I go to this expedition or not, expect to suck your own dick from now on. Or get some titan ass while you're out."

With that, you stormed out of his office. Not even giving him a salute, a goodbye. Nothing. Levi kicked the foot of his desk, cursing enough profanities that would scare any child within a 5-mile radius. 

/

The fight you had with Levi was impacting the Survey Corps as well. You two ignored each other in hallways, meetings, mealtimes, and training for almost two weeks. The two of you usually spent the night together, chatting and sleeping away the nightmares in each other's presence. But since you were steering away from each other like the plague, the amount of sleep and irritation were accumulating per day. His orders to the cadets were more than usual, and training was harsher to the point some cadets passed out from exhaustion. Seeing him just made your blood boil, and the expedition was three days away. You tried to get through the Commander, but Erwin just gave you the simple answer that it's the Captain's choice for who gets to go. Erwin had no good reason to give you special treatment. So here you were, sitting in your office like an angry teenager while staring at the oil lamp flicker away. 

A knock came from your door, "What is it?" you muttered. "It's Cadet Johnson, Captain Levi said he wants to see you in his office." 

You sighed, "Well you can tell him I'm busy stuffing shit in my head." 

"Uhm.. but he said it was urgent. Something about Earl Grey tea?" Upon hearing that, you yanked the door open and rushed to Levi's office. You yelled thanks for the messenger as you went into a jog.

'Earl Grey tea' was a code between you and Levi whenever one of you were having panic attacks or the anxiety from nightmares were causing you to indulge in self-harm. It was the last thing either of you wanted to happen. Within a few moments, you arrived outside his office door. Knocking twice, you called out, "Levi? It's me, can I come in?" 

Hearing no response, you open the door slowly. At first, you see nothing but pitch-black in the room, but as you scan the place you notice Levi's limp frame on the edge of the sofa. Your eyes widened and rushed to his side. "Levi! Are you alright? Let me see your arms, show me where you did it." Levi didn't respond immediately, but he moved so he could show you his rolled-up left sleeve. Despite being in the dark, the moonlight was enough to show the red, thin cuts on his forearm. You looked at them quickly to assess the situation, "Don't move." Quickly grabbing the first-aid kit in his drawer, you began the process of patching him up. He didn't even wince when you cleaned the cuts, this must be serious. 

Once you put away the medical items, you moved to sit next to him and opened your arms for him. "Come here, Levi." It took him a second to register what you said but eventually leaned against your chest, letting you wrap your arms around him. As a habit, you started stroking his hair as he buried his face in your neck. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you." You gently said. All the arguments and the hurtful words were gone from your head for now. At this moment, you knew what Levi needed. His upper body started to shake, you could feel streaks of tears on your skin, Levi's tears. "Shh, it's okay. I'm right here." Levi rarely cried, but whenever he did, it was always within your arms. 

After a few moments and some calming words, Levi's breathing seemed to calm down and your shirt no longer can feel his tears. 

"Please..please don't shut me out." He croaked out. It pains you so much to hear him like this, "I won't, I won't shut you out." You continue to pet his hair and draw circles on his back. "May I ask what happened this time? You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable." After a few sniffles, he removed his face from the crook of your neck, "A few days ago I overheard some soldiers from your department during dinner that you went to see Erwin and that they saw you practicing in your gear. I... I was going to see you but I got so busy preparing for the expedition that I just didn't have the time." 

You didn't press him any further, it was one of those times that you need to let him speak at his pace.

Levi continued, "I was fine, tried to put it off my mind during the week, but then it occurred to that I haven't seen you in almost two weeks. What if our last time together was us fighting? My mind couldn't stop coming up with these scenarios, it was Farlan and Isabel all over again... then images of their torn up bodies resurfaced in front of me, and it was suddenly replaced with your face... and then what happened afterward was how you found me." 

You sighed, "Levi, look at me." Grabbing his right hand, you guided it to cup a side of your face. "I'm still here, alive. Please don't torture yourself like this. You've come so far."

"It's not the same as before," He looked at you with red eyes, "Please, I'm begging you. Don't go on the expedition. I'm so sorry for what I said, you're not a nuisance, you're very talented and way smarter than I could ever be."

Sitting up straighter, you join Levi's hands with yours between your bodies. "Are you really that against me going?"

Levi gripped your wrists, "Please, I'll fight for your share, tell you how the weapons performed, anything. I'm not asking as your Captain, but as your boyfriend."

Your chest tightened at his words, he's never mentioned the word 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' in the four months you've dated. It was rather pointless in his perspective. Not knowing how to respond, you only managed to sputter out "But, what am I suppose to do while you go out there? I won't know if you're hurt or even make it out alive, why won't you let me protect you, Levi? Must you always be the one protecting others?" 

Levi took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll fight even harder to stay alive, let me fight for us so I may look forward to coming back to the woman I love." _So I may start a family with you someday_. 

You lightly gasped at his statement, "Are you... saying.."

"Yes, I am in love with you." 

Those words, it could be meaningless or hold all the power in the world. For you to hear such a stone-cold man profess his love to you got your head spinning. "Do you mean it?" You gently ask. 

"I've been trying to tell you, but it never really came out. I'm sorry it took so long." He replied as he looked down at your interlocked hands.

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, your sniffling caught Levi's attention. "Why are you crying? Are you mad at me for saying that? I'm sorr-"

You shook your head almost aggressively, "No, you idiot. I'm in love with you too. I should be the one apologizing, I was being selfish and didn't think how it would affect you like this. I'll never force you to make this tough decision ever again. I'll stay here, use my shithead brain, hole up in my study, and design a weapon so powerful to kill titans you'd never have to go out on an expedition ever again." 

Levi smiled. 

"I love that shithead brain of yours." 

Seeing his rare smiles brought warmth to your heart. Leaning in so your foreheads could touch, you say, "Let's never fight and ignore each other again, we honestly need to work on our communication, okay? My dear boyfriend."

"Ugh, I may regret saying that now," Levi grunted out. "But yes, let's never do that again. This has been a rough two weeks, I missed you." 

You kissed his cheek softly, "I missed you too, so much. Now kiss me to make up for lost time." 

Levi chuckled at your last comment, "Oh, I'll do more than just kiss you."

*end flashback*

* * *

You stare at your reflection in the full-body mirror temporarily perched up in your small office. When George said you could just do the dress-fitting in your office, you didn’t expect for the tailor to come by so soon.

The dress was your favorite shade of white and designed the way you dreamed of since a little girl. Not too exposed, and not too modest either. It was perfect and quite a large sum to purchase, but George insisted that you buy it so you wouldn’t live with regrets. It was your wedding after all.

The seamstress now pinched the back of your dress to make your waist more prominent, “Does this way look better?” She asks. You nod, “It looks great. Although, it’s a tad difficult to breathe now.” The seamstress chuckled, “Ah, I see, perhaps we can tighten it from your sides then, rather than from the back altogether...Crap, I left more pins in the cart outside, could you wait for a bit? And try not to move too much so the dress won’t be altered again.” Gesturing that it’s alright for her to leave for a moment, you turn your attention back to your reflection once more.

The reality of getting married off is starting to hit your head now. You thought you would be buzzed with excitement, yet somehow you felt indifferent and almost upset? As you try to smooth down the dress, you notice another figure walking in. “Got your pins already?” You say. What you did not expect was a small gasp taken by the very man you did not want to see.

Your eyes widened, “Captain! Um..sorry the office is a bit messy right now, the seamstress will be back soon, she just needed to get something from her cart and I will be done with the fitting and I’ll go back to work and-”

“Stop blabbering.” Said the cool-toned man. Levi’s heart couldn’t stop pounding, the sight of you in a wedding dress was like a dream come true. He occasionally lets his imaginations run wild, picturing you in a white dress, walking down the aisle, and everything else that came after. Snapping back to reality, he cleared his throat, “I came by because Erwin wanted me to give these files to you.”

You feel a sense of disappointment, of course Levi is only here because Erwin asked him to. As you try to walk to retrieve the file, you remember about being careful with your movements. “Uhm, I can’t really move in this dress, could you please hand it over to me? Watch the fabric on the ground.”

With one swift move, Levi is now standing mere inches behind you with the file in hand. The closeness of his body got you tilting forward, almost falling against the mirror. But Levi caught you around the waist before you managed to ruin the dress and your pretty face. “Careful not to smash your face.” He said. You awkwardly smile at him. “You look..um... decent.” He added.

You raise an eyebrow at him through the mirror, “My, my, a compliment from Captain Levi? This must be a rare occasion.” Despite all the tension and awkwardness between you and Levi, you still managed to put on a smile and joke during times like this. You don’t want another crying fest, especially in a fancy outfit. Levi turned his eyes to the reflection of your two bodies now, “Well, I can’t deny that the dress fits you well. Two weeks, huh?”

“How did you...it was Hange, wasn’t it?” You surmise aloud. A simple nod from Levi confirmed it. All the while, his hand never left the position on your waist, “Yet, why is the bride-to-be looking so depressed?”

 _Oh shit, he sees right through me_. “Me? Depressed? Probably just tired. Don’t worry.” You replied, but even you couldn’t stop the frown on your face right after you said it. Levi noticed it as well. As he tightened his grip on your waist, he moved his face even closer to your exposed neck and shoulder. “You’re lying.” He said in a deep, hushed voice. You kept your eyes glued to his frame in the mirror, heart beating fast at the tone of his voice, and skin starting to form goosebumps as you could feel his warm breath on your sensitive neck.

Levi doesn’t understand what came over him, _just back out now, don’t get so close to her_. All notions of ignoring you and keeping a distance were all forgotten. Your beautiful figure and scent were torturing his self-control. He moved and is now pressing up behind your back. You could feel his strong chest muscles, a sensation you were so accustomed to when he either hugged or spooned you from behind. At the contact, your heart was thumping so loud you think Levi could hear it. You try to hide the blush almost appearing, “I-I’m not lying at all, you know how Erwin is like with meeting deadlines, my team was just working overtime lately.”

Not really believing your excuses, Levi delicately moves your hair onto one shoulder, freeing the other side for him. The ends of his hair brushed some parts of your exposed skin, giving you a tingling feeling as his breath reached your ear, “Hmm, you should know better than to deceive me.” Before you could refute his statement, he gently pressed his lips to your shoulder blades. You silently gasped at the contact, it was so, so wrong to be in this position. Every thought in your brain was telling you to free yourself from him, you can’t betray the man you are bound to wed. However, all fibers in your body are telling to hold onto any contact Levi is giving you.

You wanted it, you craved for it.

His lips continue to trail along your shoulder towards your neck, one gentle kiss after another. You couldn’t reject his touch at all. Leaning your head to the left, you gave him more area to love. Locking your eyes with one another through the mirror, your eyes glow at Levi’s as he continues to leave gentle marks on the neck he has memorized already.

Levi’s desire to take you right here and then was so strong it was killing him inside. He knows you don’t belong to him; he knows he shouldn’t be doing this, but sensing your desire for him was just too encouraging. The notion of relaxing into him and extending your neck was fuel to his inner fire. His kisses were getting wetter and hungrier as he finally reached the one spot he knew would make you melt.

You were blushing so much now, and as you can see and feel Levi working up closer to the small area below your ear, you couldn’t help but let out a contented sigh filled with lust for the man. “L-Levi, we shouldn’t... be...doing..mmh...this....ahhh.”

He wrapped his free arm around the front of your upper chest, “Why not? Don’t you also deserve a little fun for what your cheating fiance did?”

“This is still wr-wrong.” You sputter out. Levi continues to leave his marks, “But you want it. I know you do.”

At that last remark, you finally found the energy to break away from his touch. Facing him now, you say “Please, just stop. We’re better than that.” _But the damage is already done._

Levi’s arms return to his sides, his grey eyes are unreadable as he recomposes himself. It seems his usual demeanor is back, “Sorry, I-I shouldn’t have done that, it’s just seeing you in a wedding dress, I… I don’t know what came over me.”

You listen to him struggling to come up with a valid excuse for initiating intimate contact, but at the same time, you also didn’t refuse it from the very beginning. His actions were confusing you so much. After all this time and the heartbreak Levi left behind, you were still a sucker for his touch, pouncing on any chance he touches you. Blame it on the hormones.

Summoning what’s left of your dignity, you grab onto his shoulders, “Levi, let’s just keep it professional between us, alright? You’re the Captain, and I’m just another soldier working here.” You close your eyes before saying silently, “We’re not together anymore.”

Your request was like a stab in his chest, but how could he deny that that’s best for everybody? “Yeah, just a Captain and a soldier. Sure.” He said through gritted teeth. Taking a step back, he shifts his personality into his normal superior mode, “Once you’re done playing dress-up, get back to work.”

Giving him the standard salute, you give him one last soft look. “Yes, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader really said "Nah let's be colleagues but I was horny for a second" 
> 
> Thanks for taking your precious time to read!  
> btw, I've been thinking about sharing more about my process of writing this and other ideas for upcoming works. If you'd like that, you can follow my Twitter @sulalagus


	7. The Wedding

You don’t hear or see Levi for the rest of the two weeks. The intimate moment you shared with him was almost forgotten as work piled up and Erwin’s deadlines were becoming closer.

Now, the wedding ceremony is set to happen in ten minutes, you nervously rub your hands together as beads of cold sweat forms on your back and neck. It’s finally happening, you thought. All those daydreams of wanting to be someone’s wife and taking care of a family is finally coming true.

Your parents would be proud, you thought. Marrying someone of good status and wealthy enough to support you for the rest of your lifetime. Your mother would say, “Make sure to please him. Do what he says.” and your father would laugh, “Don’t spend all his money on clothes and books.” Unfortunately, you would never get to hear them say that. The carriage accident that cost both their lives in your last year of engineering academy still makes your heart heavy. Today was one of those days where it hurt most.

As your childhood best friend helps you with the final touches on makeup and hair, she gives an earnest smile. “I’m so happy for you,” she says. 

The veil is then positioned on your head, blocking your vision with a curtain of sheer whiteness. Looking at yourself one last time in the mirror, you summon up the courage to walk out of the dressing room. It’s now or never.

George understood the amount of work the military was giving you, so he took the liberty to help plan this last-minute wedding change. Although he did inform you of any developments and kept your suggestions in mind, the wedding setting wasn’t completely how you envisioned. Firstly, the guests consisted of many politicians and colleagues of your soon-to-be husband, some of whom you have never met until now. Secondly, the church George picked out had to be the most lavish one, given his connections with the Church people. Levi always said those church people were a ‘fucked-up cult’, but you have to admit that these people sure have a lot of financial support.

Speaking of Levi, you don’t see him when you peeked through the front door. George went ahead and sent the invitations to the list of people you wanted in the Survey Corps, Levi included. You debated for a while, could you invite an ex-boyfriend to your wedding? But in the end, you included his name anyway. Besides, you made it clear it was just a platonic Captain to soldier relationship... right?

The organ starts playing, it was your cue to start walking down the aisle. As the grand church door opens, gasps rippled through the crowd as their attention focuses on you and your beautiful figure. Taking a deep inhale, you begin the steady path that leads to George at the altar. His wide smile and sparkling eyes keep you focused; he is the man you are bound to; his child is in you.

Stepping onto the altar, you hold both hands with the man that brought so much luxury to your dull life. As the priest goes on with the usual, your eyes flicker to the audience. Erwin and Hange are there at the front row, beaming at you. You wonder where the raven-haired man is, perhaps he had gotten too busy with his squad and paperwork to attend. Maybe you shouldn’t have invited him at all.

“I do.”

The statement coming out of George’s mouth brought you out of your thoughts.

“....take George Bennett as your husband?” follows the priest.

_“....take Levi Ackerman as your husband?” you dreamed once before._

George squeezes your hands, reassuring you that this choice was the right one. He is the right one.

“I do.” You breathe out. George released a wide smile while slipping the silver rings on each other's hands. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” the priest finishes.

Before you knew it, George had lifted the veil and pulled you in for a kiss. The crowd goes wild, each of them standing up to applaud at the new married couple. You gently lay a hand on his face, kissing away all the doubts about the man who is now your husband.

Pulling away from the kiss, you smile at George. “We did it.”

“We sure did, my dearest wife.”

He takes your arm and wraps it around his own, leading you down from the altar and into the row of cheering faces. You wave and smile at everyone who congratulated you, save for Hange who practically pounced to give you a hug.

As the guests all file out of the church and onto the patio to socialize, your best friend taps on your shoulder to let you know it’s time to change out of the wedding dress. You nod and turn to George, “I’ll go change really quick, be back in about ten minutes.” He nods back and kisses your forehead, “Okay, come find me once you’re done.”

* * *

Back in the dressing room, you let out a deep exhale as the dress is taken off.

“I didn’t know you had this many friends, I thought you were a loner.” Your best friend said jokingly.

You chuckle, “Hey! I spend time with other friends that aren't you, okay? Although...the majority of them are George’s acquaintances.”

“Hm, well his friends are also your friends now. Mrs. Bennett.”

“That sounds...weird.”

“Well, you did make it official mere moments ago, you’ll get used to it,” she says as she zips up a more casual dress on you. “So, where is George taking you for the honeymoon? Outskirts of Wall Sina?”

You fixate your attention on your wedding ring, “No, we’re going straight back to work tomorrow. He’s already wasted enough time planning this wedding.”

She raises an eyebrow, “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re newlyweds! At least a fancy hotel room for the night, for you know…spicy actions.”

Rolling your eyes, you puff out, “We both know that ‘spicy actions’ is what got me into this situation in the first place.”

“Are you saying you regret it?”

“...No.”

“You hesitated.”

“Hesitated? That is not within my vocabulary.”

“Right, right, you would do anything for that bump of yours. I’m surprised you hid it so well in that dress. I wish I looked this good when I was pregnant.”

You smile back at your friend, “I’ve seen you at your worst, and you were glowing when you had Bella.” Her eyes softened and moved to hug you, “Thanks, she sure is my angel. I’m sure you’ll be a great mother. I’m here for you too, you know.”

Patting her back, you smile contently, “What would I do without you? You’re basically my guidebook on adulthood.”

She lets out a sarcastic laugh, “Ha-ha. You were always the mature one, how did I end up married and having kids before you?”

“Hmmm, perhaps it’s because you were too irresistible for your man? Walls knows what you did to seduce him.” You murmured.

Stepping back from the embrace, she puts on a fake offended face, “Shut your mouth. He especially loves this irresistible puss- ouch! Kidding! Just kidding.”

You grin, “I’m happy to see you come this far, we both grew up so fast.”

“All because my best friend showed me that sleeping around won’t get you far in life.” She replied as she smooths down the ends of your dress.

As she stood back up, you held on one of her shoulders, “But really, thank you. For being here.”

She smiles back, “Of course, plus I’m so excited our kids will grow up as best friends too!”

With a chuckle and last check that you were presentable, the two of you head out of the dressing room and back to the patio where your husband awaits.

* * *

Levi stood on the rooftop of the church where he could observe all the people below. The meeting back in headquarters had overrun, causing Levi to use his 3DM gear while wearing his black suit to rush to the event site. He hated every moment of the wedding, although he was peeking through the glass pane on the top, he still saw the moment you stepped into the church aisle in your perfectly-altered wedding dress. You were everything he dreamed about.

The intimate moment during your dress fitting still ran around his mind. Levi despised himself for doing such disrespectful actions towards you, yet he cherished every touch he managed to get from your skin. During the last two weeks, he repeatedly dreamed about kissing you, worshipping your body as he earned wonderful moans from the woman he desired. But the dreams never ended well, what started as a passionate interaction would always lead to a bloodbath of you being chewed up in a titan’s mouth while wearing your white dress.

Levi saw the moment you stepped onto the altar, exchanging your vows with the man he could never be. Silently watching you mouth the words ‘I do’ to an unfaithful man is burned into his memory. Coming to the wedding was already torture to his heart, yet Levi thought he should at least see you married off happily before he unexpectedly dies in an expedition. Your happiness bears a heavier weight than any of his damaged pride.

Despite all the fancy decorations and rows of guests, Levi recognized the uneasiness in your expression throughout the whole ceremony. Were you having second thoughts? Or were you too nervous like any normal bride? Do you still hold any affections for him? Levi is a simple-minded man, but when it concerns you he would overthink like a madman. If only you could flick his forehead right now like the countless times before when he went off rambling about the smallest things.

Still standing on the roof, Levi is able to assess everything and anyone that attended the wedding. He sees his two colleagues and some cadets from your division, and a bunch of snobby politicians he assumed was George’s guests. Finally, he spots you coming out wearing a different dress, along with your best friend. You were laughing about something with the woman next to you, then he hears George’s booming voice calling your name. Levi struggles to admit that the man holding onto your arm is now your legal husband and that the image of you two standing together fits so well.

As he was about to turn and zip back to the Survey Corps, he suddenly locked eyes with you.

You were commenting about how the weather was nice today. Looking up with your hands shielding from the bright sun, there’s a black frame of a man on the roof you recognized immediately. So Levi did come to the wedding after all. But why was he on the roof?

Staring at him for another second, you deduced that he had rushed to the venue from headquarters, given his gear was still strapped on. As you took a step closer to where he was standing, George grabbed you gently by the waist motioning you to mingle with some more politicians that had come up to congratulate the newlyweds. For the moment, you could only nod at Levi with a small smile. Turning back to your husband, you continue with the small talks and endless thanking for the day, and by the time you remembered to glance back at the roof, the raven-haired man was already gone.

* * *

Returning to the office the next day was a surprise to almost everyone you encountered. A lot of "You're not on your honeymoon?", 

"I heard you got married to George Bennett! Lucky girl," or

"So how many kids do you guys plan on having?"

You politely answered each of them, either responding with a general thanks or a vague answer regarding the sensitive topics. Nevertheless, the weekend joy was quickly diminished as the upcoming expedition was set to happen in two days. The air was filled with anxiety, nervousness, but also with a hint of great expectations. From what you learned from Hange, Eren and Levi's squad had been training away from the city for the past few weeks, hoping to figure out Eren's full potential as a titan shifter. She even said he managed to blast off an entire picnic table and the squad, all for a small teaspoon that somehow was left undamaged. 

The 'secret' project Erwin assigned you was complete, the Weapons division had done thousands of test runs and adjustments to ensure the metal rods would shoot directly at its subject without flailing mid-air. All that is left for you to do now is double check all the gears are functional and that it is packaged safely in the barrels. 

On the day of the expedition, the Survey Corps dining hall is filled with hushed conversations and grim faces. It was a day where it could be the last time you ever saw your comrades and superior officers. As you stepped out into the main courtyard, you soak in the warm sunshine. Maybe you'll finally drop the military job after this expedition and become a full-time housewife, you thought. The sounds of boots hitting against the dirt reach your ears, a familiar voice interrupts your internal debate. 

"Glad Erwin gave you this job, huh?" said Levi. 

You gave a hum in response and added, "It all depends on how it'll perform out in the field, will you tell me how it goes, Captain?" 

"We'll see." He says.

It was just another way of saying for 'Let's see if I make it out alive to tell you.' Turning your face to look at him directly, "Thanks for coming on Sunday despite your busy schedule."

Levi nods once, "The venue was...nice. I suppose I should congratulate you."

He lifts his eyes to meet yours. To Levi, you are still the woman he used to love, but what has changed now is the extra ring on your left hand. This small silver band makes all the difference in the world. 

"Thank you, Captain." You said. "Be safe out there today, and when you come back we'll have a nice warm cup of chamomile tea together." It was a small offer, and you know for a fact that normal cadets don't just share a cup of tea with their squad leaders on a casual basis, yet you understood that this tiny proposal can bring about hope in this stern man. It was something he could look forward to, something he could fight for, even if he won't be coming home to share a bed with you like before. 

Levi closed his eyes briefly to take a deep breath, "Sure," he says. "But I'll brew the tea," he adds.

Being next to your presence was always his remedy for anxiousness even though he had been on countless trips outside the walls. When you were still together, Levi would try to stay in bed for a moment longer than usual to capture your sleeping body and face in his mind before getting up to change into the uniform. You would always ask, "Do you really have to go?" to which he responds, "It's my job." He remembers your slight tug on his hand to signal him to kiss you one more time before he walks out of the bedroom and starts his tortuous duty as Humanities' Strongest Soldier. 

This morning, he awoke with no one by his bedside, no cuddles, no kisses. But here you were standing next to him as a married woman, basking in the early morning sun asking him to stay alive for a tea session. Perhaps it was the way you smiled at him or the hint of hope in your voice to see him again after today, whatever it was, Levi wanted to make it back to you no matter what.

He'll still fight harder to come back to the woman he loves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wedding finally happened, Reader is now taken. How will Levi interact with her now?  
> The next chapter will be a bit on the heavier side in terms of emotions, the angst will return.
> 
> I will also be publishing a new Levi x Reader AU fic that occurs in 1920s London. For setting and fashion reference, it'll look like it's from the Great Gatsby. So stay tuned if you want to read that! 
> 
> Thanks for reading and comments are always appreciated :)


	8. The Power of a Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains NSFW content.

The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission was an utter disaster. You ran out of your office as soon as you heard the bells ring, signifying the scouts have returned. Within minutes the soldiers come pouring back into the front gates of headquarters. It was the usual, horrific sight of wounded and tired looking scouts, yet you notice the significant number of people that didn’t return, in fact, even the number of wrapped-up bodies were fewer than expected. 

Naturally, your eyes scan across the crowd looking for a certain black-haired man. You don’t see him after your third lookout.

_No, no, no. Please, not him._

You jog quickly to the first recognizable soldier. “Connie! What on earth happened? Are you alright?”

The kid who used to shine brightly at delivering packages to your office was no longer there; instead, his eyes are filled with sorrow, grief, and... disbelief?

Connie acknowledges you, “There... it was so unexpected... We... titan... Armin… the female titan…” he was still processing all the shock that he couldn’t even form a cohesive sentence.

You gently pat his shoulder, “Hey...take it slow, you’re safe now. Wait, did you say Armin was a female titan?”

His eyes widened at your statement, “No! Oh, sorry. It’s just...it all happened so fast.” Connie rubbed his hands together then formed them into fists to control his nerves. “There was a female titan, running out of nowhere and killing more soldiers than we anticipated.”

Taking a breath to continue, Connie said, “What I heard from Armin was that she didn’t kill him. All she did was grab the hood of his cape..to look at him.”

Brows furrowing, you slowly sink in what he just said. Yet, before you could ask further, Hange had approached you. 

“Hey, Erwin needs to speak with you once you’re done.” She said. You look at your friend, Hange had a weird look on her face, one that is unreadable to all the years you’ve known her. 

Nodding, you squeezed Connie’s arm to reassure him, “Thanks for telling me, make sure you get plenty of rest, okay?” With that being said, you part ways with the young soldier and follow Hange out of the courtyard and into the Commander’s office. 

* * *

Upon arriving in the office, Erwin is already situated at his large desk and scribbling away at documents. As both you and Hange entered the room, he cuts to the chase, “The wired cannons were a success, thank you for the hard work.” said the serious Commander. “However, it was not enough to achieve our objective, as the female titan is an abnormal, one with intelligence.”

You lightly gasped at his words. Brains working, you come to the conclusion, “So, you mean to say she covered her neck before you guys could kill her?”

Erwin nodded, “Not only that, but she has the ability to harden the skin on her nape. From what Levi said, it was almost like a crystallization. The blades we have merely gave a scratch.” 

At the mention of Levi, you move forward to ask, “Is he-”

“He’s alive.”

You let out a breath you’ve been holding since you heard the bells ring. Personal questions will come later. “What do we do now? I’m assuming the wire cannons won’t do much if a titan has the ability to protect herself from blades.” Despite your professional tone, your mind is racing as all you can think of is the whereabouts of Levi.

Hange walks by you and plants her fists on the table, “We need to come up with a better weapon if only those stupid MP’s would give us the blueprints for the thunder spears.” She said with an exasperated tone. 

“Thunder spears? I thought they were just fake weapons old military men talked about to exaggerate their fighting. Does it really exist?” You ask. 

The glint of Hange’s glasses shone for a split second, “Oh, it’s real. I’ve accidentally stumbled upon small storage of it before. But the next time I went back to visit, the storage was already wiped empty.”

Erwin spoke up next, “I’ve never seen it with my eyes, but it is quite normal for the MP’s to hide previous war weapons. I’m not surprised they would move it to another location after a Scouts uncovered it.”

You throw your hands up in frustration, “But that’s so selfish! Do they have any idea how beneficial it would be if we could just blast the fucking titans instead of risking everyone’s lives with short ass blades?” 

Hange slightly chuckled at your outburst and swearing, Levi definitely influenced you.

The Commander simply sighed, “I’m afraid that’s the reality. However, with your husband’s new influence, I’m hoping that we could gain an upper hand if we bargain those blueprints for a slightly less deduction of their funds.” 

“George? I’m not so sure if a small district politician like him can convince a whole military division to give up their secrets.” You said as you crossed your arms. 

Despite your words, Erwin somehow manages to maintain a determined face, “Well, that’s only his current position. The general election is coming soon, yes?”

You quickly think over the schedule George mentioned before, and eventually remembered the important day he has been working for all these years. “Yes, if I recall correctly, the election is in 28 days.” 

“Then we shall do everything in our power to ensure he gets elected. We cannot afford to lose another valuable asset. The Scouts are already grim as it is.” Said the Commander.

You despise the fact everything in this world is a game, and yourself is a pawn in this neverending strategy play. However, now is not the time to admit defeat. You will smile along and unleash your power move when it’s appropriate. 

At last, you look into those bright blue eyes and say, “Very well, I will talk to my husband about this matter. But...does that mean I’m done with the temporary work since you only hired me for the wired cannons?” 

“Ah, I suppose you’re right. Technically you should have gone home after you finished the project, but once again, we’re quite low on manpower.” Erwin stated out.

Hange grabs hold of your hands, “Will you stay? I could definitely use another person on my team! And if things go well then you’d be back anyway for the thunder spears production process.” Her excitement and hopefulness are on the edge of bursting. 

You think it over; with your current bump and a new marriage, you should be resting at home. Yet, no matter how hard you try, you find yourself wanting to stay in the comfort of gadgets and blueprints. “Commander Smith, will you grant me the permission to work part-time with Squad Leader Hange Zoe? Under the condition that I provide my expertise and support 4 days maximum per week.”

Erwin ponders for a moment, “Permission granted. I’ll sort out the paperwork later.” He said with a grin.

“Woohoo! New nerd on my team!” Hange shouted joyfully.

The atmosphere is quickly cut, as Erwin continued, “But, there is one task I need to ask of you right now. Will you accompany us to the castle where Eren is currently stationed?”

You face Erwin, “May I ask why?” 

Erwin sat back on his chair, brows crinkling as he stated, “Unfortunately, Levi’s entire squad was defeated by the female titan. I’m worried about how he is holding up.”

Eyes widening, your body goes rigid at his words. Looking between Hange’s downward gaze and Erwin’s grave posture, you realize how serious the situation is. It wasn’t some cruel joke your friends came up with. Without hesitation, you say, “Tell me what I need to pack, I’ll be ready to leave ASAP.”

* * *

Standing outside next to your horses, you wait in the dark as Erwin and Hange went inside the castle. The Commander had told you to stand guard while he sorted out some issues with Eren and Levi, apparently, it was confidential business. As you quietly smooth down the mane of your brown horse, you see through the window of figures of some young cadets huddling around a table, you assume it was the dining room. 

All the while, you consider what to say when you see Levi. Do you say ‘I’m sorry for your loss?’ No, Levi hates it when people take pity on him. Or do you nag him for not being careful enough since he had injured his leg? Your thoughts were put on hold as Hange had stepped out and motioned for you to go in. 

* * *

“We must keep this theory of Annie being the female titan on a need to know basis. It’s too risky to discuss this issue with others. Understood?” Said the Commander.

All cadets saluted, “Yes, Commander!”

Erwin nods, “And sorry again for the late arrival, we had to take care of some employment issues back at the office. Hange, can you go tell her it’s alright to come inside now?”

Levi raises an eyebrow, “Hah? Who did you invite to our mellow party?” He said as he took a sip from his tea. 

Footsteps echoed the dark hall till you finally stepped inside the dining room. 

Hange cleared her throat and said, “Attention everyone, this is Mrs. Bennett from the Weapons and Tactics Division. She will be a temporary assistant to my squad from now on.”

You take a good look at the cadets surrounding the table, they are all so young compared to the time when you first enlisted into the military. Another reminder that humanity is taking its toll on the younger generation. Alas, you put on a small smile, “Nice to meet you all, I’ll be mostly assisting Hange with her experiments and then going back to the Weapons development group after things are settled.”

Some oohs and ahhs from the youthful squad, except for one scared face cadet who endured all of Hange’s ‘experiments’. Yet nothing from the black-haired man; he didn’t even turn around to face you. He continued to sip from his teacup. 

Erwin unfolded his arms and looked at the party in the room. “Very well, I shall get going. Rest up, everyone. Goodnight.” As he left, he put a heavy hand on your shoulder, silently asking you to look out for a friend. 

Not knowing what to do next, you suddenly bring your attention to the first cadet who put his hand out, “I’m Jean, by the way. If you need any help, I’m here to provide further assistance.”

“Pfft, you can start by bonding with her horse outside.” said the boy with green eyes. 

You smiled at the childish banter and shook Jean’s hand, then looked at the boy, “And you must be Eren. I’ve heard much about you.”

Eren’s face slightly tints red at the attention he’s receiving so suddenly. 

Noticing the subtle reactions you’re causing, the Captain finally made his presence known with a sigh as he puts his cup on the table with a thunk, “Alright titan boy, go into the dungeon now. Everyone else, head to your rooms.”

“The dungeon? Don’t tell me he sleeps in the dungeon?” You said with concern.

Eren pipes up, “You think it’s unfair too, right? See, Captain? I’m not the only one who thinks it’s crazy after all these weeks.”

Levi was not taking the bratty attitude, “Says the boy who ‘accidentally’ turns into a damn titan from a teaspoon.” He said as he glared at the young cadet. “Dungeon. Now.”

Apparently, that was all it took to shut everyone up, and as the soldiers filed out of the room save for one grumpy man, Hange motioned for you to follow her. “I’ll show you your bedroom. Jean, carry her suitcase.” She said. 

After bidding the two goodnight, you sit on the temporary bed for a moment. You wonder once more how to approach Levi. You wonder if he hates your sudden appearance, but he did say he would brew some chamomile tea for you after he returned. 

Letting go of the mindless worries, you stand and walk out to the cold, dark hallways of the castle and back into the dining hall. You’ve forgotten to ask Hange where Levi slept, so you hoped he might still be in the kitchen area drinking his tea. You guessed correctly. 

“Hey,” you quietly said as you stood by the doorframe. 

Levi glances at you, then unemotionally says, “I thought your temporary job was over. Why stay with four-eyes.”

Moving towards the table, you sit on Levi’s right side. “Well, Erwin asked me to so we could get our hands on the thunder spears...and...I suppose I wanted to stay,” you said as you fidget with the sleeves of your shirt. 

“And your husband won’t be pissed from all this?”

“I don’t know. He’s busy too.”

“Mhm.”

Not wanting to talk about George, you switch the topic, “What tea are you drinking?” It was a lame conversation, but you had to say something in this dead silence.

Levi doesn’t look at you as he blows the steam away from his cup, “Jasmine green tea.” 

“It’s late to be drinking caffeine. I can make some yellow tea, it’s good for curing inflammation.” you offered. 

“I’m fine. Tch, nosy Erwin.” Comes the standard response. As Levi stood up from his seat, you notice the slight wince on his face. 

You sigh at his stubbornness. “Do you have a medical kit here?”

Without thinking, Levi spitted out, “There’s one in my room.” 

Nodding, you stood up as well, “Lead the way.”

* * *

Levi wanted to scream, groan, and sigh all at the same time as you assessed the wound on his ankle. But being the man he is, he keeps his face neutral as he tightens his jaw. 

Having you lend an arm for support as he climbed the stairs was embarrassing enough, yet here you are, sitting on the edge of his bed gently touching the broken ankle and applying the cooling cream. Levi remembers those times you fussed about his injuries, regardless of how small it may have been. You were always the one to tend his wounds as he refused others from treating him unless absolutely necessary. 

You sense his discomfort as you wrapped the gauze around his foot to stable his ankle. “You don’t have to hide the pain, I know it hurts.”

He shuts his eyes, “It’s fine.”

“I’m not talking about your physical injury, Levi.” You said while tying the ends of the gauze.

Tilting his head up to meet your gaze for a second, Levi doesn’t budge, “I’m fine.” 

How could he be fine when his entire squad was annihilated all in one day? You soften your eyes at him. “You know you don’t have to hide it from me, right?”

He looks up at the ceiling, “It’s not the same.”

“Same as what?” 

“As before.”

You realize you’re maybe asking too much of him; how can anyone feel comfortable spilling their hearts out to their ex after all this time? But this was Levi, who else was going to listen to his pain? He knows you’re the only person in this world that would keep his darkest secrets and feelings within the room. He knows you’re the only person with the patience to patch his broken soul up. 

Yet, he threw it all away last year. He regrets and feels shit for doing so.

“I’m still the same person…and I still care,” you said quietly. 

The candle on its stand was close to burning out; the moon was the only light source for Levi to see your expression. He sees you looking at his broken leg, fingers still lingering on the bandaged area. He tries his best not to shiver at your slight touch when it reaches the exposed skin for a second. 

“I don’t need your sympathy.” He bites out.

_Please hold me; please tell me everything will be alright again; please love me again._

Your head snaps up to look at his face. He remains impassive as ever, but you know better. As you stand up, Levi’s left-hand grips the sheets. _Please don’t leave me now._

To Levi’s surprise, you didn’t leave the room. Instead, you started to take off your jacket and boots. 

“Oi, what do you think you’re doing?” Levi harshly spits out. 

“I’m tired so I’m going to sleep.” You said nonchalantly. Walking back to his bed, you see a hint of surprise and confusion in Levi’s face. 

The mattress dips as you rest your upper body against the bed frame; you softly stated, “I know you, Levi. It’s alright to be a little selfish in times like these. Treat yourself better from time to time.”

He turns his face the other direction; he looks anywhere but your body. He’s afraid he would disrespect you again, especially when his inner turmoil is eating him alive. 

Not really knowing what else to do to get him to talk, you did something your parents would frown upon. A shameful act you may regret for the rest of your life.

Gently reaching for him, you guide Levi’s left hand to where your ring is. He lays motionless until he feels the metal band, one that is slightly warm from your body heat. The ring that has sealed the boundary of which neither of you should cross, a piece of round metal that could mean all the difference to two past lovers. Levi slowly turns around to view what you’re doing. Using your right hand, you mold his fingers so that he could hold the ring, and motioned to let it slip off. 

A symbol was what that ring is. It has been the root of all of Levi's relationship problems with you. A simple band that prevents him from sharing his grief, suicidal thoughts, and more. But now, he feels the barrier slide off as foolishly as that logic may sound.

He looks at you with an expression, one with perplexity, but he doesn’t object as you take the ring and set it on the bedside table. Then, he registers the fact you laid down flat next to him, a closeness he had been craving unbeknownst to himself until this moment. Any form of physical contact from you is more than he can ask for. 

Facing him, you hold his left hand close to your beating chest, then plant a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “Just for tonight, I’ll be the person you want me to be. I’ll be here for you.” You said with a gentleness saved for Levi alone. 

In an instant, Levi snuggled up closer and hid his face in the nook of your neck. A place that has become his safe haven; a location where he could submerge himself in your warmth and scent. 

Knowing the man he is behind closed doors, you started stroking Levi’s hair. Perhaps he won’t ever talk about what’s hiding behind those cold demeanors, but you accept his way of communication either way as the shallow inhales and exhales brushes your skin. 

Just like the nights he would slump down into your embrace after a long, exhausting day when you were still together, you began to whisper sweet nothings and affirmations into his ear. 

“I’ve got you now,”

“It’s completely valid for the way you’re feeling currently,”

“I won’t go anywhere,”

“You worked so hard today,”

“It’s alright to rest,”

He goes stiff at that statement, his voice is barely a whisper but you hear it regardless, “How can I rest when they’re all dead.”

You’re pained to see him like this, no one deserves to suffer all the loss he did. Gently and reassuringly, you whisper, “No one can predict the length of one’s life or the way they will leave us. But we can hope that they left doing the things they were passionate for.”

Moving your hand to rub circles on Levi’s back, you continue comforting him while feeling streaks of tears falling onto your skin, “It’s difficult to accept that they are gone, but don’t hate yourself for not doing enough, and instead focus on how you brightened the days you spent together.”

“I LEFT! I WAS THE ONE WHO LEFT THEM!” Levi outbursts as he tilts his head up to stare into your calming eyes.

His voice cracks at the pain of not being able to save those he cared for when he was so close, yet always so far. “Why does it always happen when I’m not there?”

You move to cup a side of his tear-stained cheeks, “It’s not your fault, Levi. It never was.”

“But...I should’ve been there. Why didn’t I die along with them?” His reddened gaze locks with yours. 

At that question, you tighten your hold on him, “Never. Ever. Say that again.” Wiping the tears off, you murmured, “I know it may seem unfair sometimes, with how they got to leave this fucked up world before we do. But you have to remember that there will always be someone who needs your presence, do not belittle your life like that.”

“Do you need my presence?” He asked faintly.

“Always.” You said automatically while running your thumb across his cheek. “I was worried when I couldn’t find you when the Scouts returned.” It was a fact; a feeling of dread when you couldn’t find the one you sought. 

Levi swallowed before speaking up, “You said it was alright for me to be a little selfish, right?”

You nod in response. 

“I’m sorry,” Levi said quickly.

Your mouth was ready to ask what he was apologizing for, but he had already leaned in and kissed you. 

Shocked by his sudden movement, you try to push him away. But he held onto your hands firmly as he pressed his lips further on yours. But sensing your lack of reaction, he jerked his body away. 

“Shit, I-I...you should go,” Levi said as he backed himself from where you were laying. 

You wonder since when have you become so dishonest. Both to others and to yourself. You were such a hypocrite, telling others what’s wrong and right when you can’t even follow those morals. Perhaps it was the way you held Levi tonight that made you see the feelings you held onto for a fellow comrade and someone you respected. You realize you never stopped loving him. Shamelessly, you want to offer yourself to Levi and for him to take over everything you own. In return, you want to be the person that takes away his pain. 

Rather than slapping him for disrespecting a newly wedded wife, you grabbed Levi’s face and pressed a kiss on the very lips that you knew so well and cherished. 

“I’m not leaving. I said I would be whatever you wanted me to be for tonight.” You whispered. 

Your words acted like a switch to Levi’s clarity. He disregarded all the efforts of pushing you away; he wanted nothing more than just to have you all to himself. Titans and your husband be damned; you belong to him. Even if it’s just for one of the worst nights he’s had. 

Levi kisses you with passion as he holds your face delicately. The way you respond with equal fervor this time turns him on further. Sounds of wet lips meeting, then separating for air just to continue tangling with another fills the room. Hot and heavy breaths move between your faces, Levi’s scent of the jasmine green tea he drank transferred to your taste buds. 

It wasn’t enough, Levi wanted more and more of you as minutes ticked by. When will he ever get you to willingly present yourself to him again? Forgetting about the pain in his leg, Levi hovered above your body and dove in to kiss your neck. That earned him a small moan from you. A sound he wanted to save only for his ears to hear on repeat. 

On instinct, your body shifts to accommodate Levi’s position on top. Legs spread slightly wider as you fold up your right leg for him to hold firmly while his left knee sits in between your increasingly heated core. It was the standard routine your bodies still remembered after a year apart.

He squeezes your right thigh while the other hand moves to unbutton your shirt. With each button undone, your breaths become heavier and faster. Your patience was wearing thin, so you broke away from the kiss to undo Levi’s shirt as well. Now both topless, you marvel at the muscled body before you. Reaching a hand to brush his toned abdomen, you suddenly become too aware of the position you were in and brought both arms up to cover your naked chest. 

Slightly taken aback, Levi ceased his touching, “Do you want to stop?” 

Not daring to look at him, you shyly said, “No...it’s just my body isn’t...the same size as it was.”

Levi put a hand on top of yours, and leaned down next to your ear, “You’re still as beautiful as ever. I don’t care what size you are.”

Upon hearing that, you relax slightly and move one arm away. Still not facing him, you don’t notice the way Levi’s expression lightened up a bit at how shy you were acting. He takes a moment to look at your exposed body, now understanding what you meant. Your chest had gotten moderately larger, and your toned muscles from years of training were replaced...with a small bump. 

He hesitated. Reality came crashing down like a fallen wall. This was so wrong. All the possessiveness went away as he looked at what lay under him. He continues to stare at your body like a silent battle as to what he should do next. 

Finally gaining the courage to look at Levi, you notice his furrowed brows at the sight of your center. “Levi, are you okay?” you asked.

He sits up, “I don’t think we should do this.”

You felt hurt by his words, “Do you not...find me attractive anymore?”

He shakes his head then sighed, “It’s not that. I just don’t think you should be doing this while you’re...um.” 

Following his gaze, you realize what he implied. How could you forget? The reason Levi hasn’t already roughed you up like before was all because of your unborn child. You felt guilty, so fucking guilty. It’s too late to undo the sin you committed, but was it justified if the love in your marriage was a superficial one? A marriage you simply refused to accept that you were just a tool for the man. A life of being loveless parents bonded together for the sake of raising the child.

In all honesty, you craved sexual interaction ever since you started sleeping at headquarters, and without the contact of your aloof husband, you felt lonelier than usual. Fuck it, you were going to hell anyway for having intercourse before marriage, or at least that's what you initially believed. 

Reaching then locking with his hands, you say, “Levi, I’m still in my early stages. It won’t hurt me if we do it gently...and I want to do this...with you.” 

Doubtfully, he leans in once more and kisses your forehead, “Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yes, I’m sure,” you replied.

Levi can't help himself when you ask for him. He would do everything he can to please you, all the while submerge himself in your softness when the world continued to be cruel to him daily.

Trailing soft kisses along your face and then your jaw, he said, “Okay, tell me if I’m hurting you.”

Your back arches as his mouth moves to your breasts; his warm breath leaving tingles on the sensitive skin. He doesn’t falter when he latches his mouth onto your nipples, sucking and licking the way you like it while his other hand lightly squeezes the unoccupied tit. You bite your lip as Levi skillfully pleasures your upper body, head throwing back as his hand roams back and forth on the freshly sucked breasts. Not wanting to wait any longer, you prop up your elbows to make him lean back. The space provided allows you to reach and unzip his pants; he steps out of them quickly and moves to undo yours. 

There’s a sense of urgency in the air, both of you grab onto each other’s clothes, desperately trying to remove any barriers between your bodies. 

Levi now touches your fully naked body wholeheartedly; his exposed cock inches away from your opening. You push your chest against him, wanting his warmth to surround you and be inside you. 

“Levi- please, I want you now.” You panted.

Already on the edge, Levi hears your request and teases your clit. “Fuck, you’re already so wet.” 

“Please, Levi.” Hands brushing his lower body, you plead again while enjoying his scrunched up face when you stroked his erect member.

He grunts once and moves your hand as he positions himself properly for your entrance. 

Pure bliss blossoms as you feel each other’s closeness, interconnecting as one with him inside you. 

He closes his eyes and waits for the moment to pass, then asks, “Can I move now?”

The answer he gets is a slight moan. “Mhm,”

He starts moving at a moderate pace, and you can already feel the buildup within your core. It has been so long since you felt this good with a man. No matter what Levi does, he always manages to make you come undone. The familiarity of it all makes you groan, “Mmh, ah Levi-ohh,”

Hearing you moan his name over and over is making him lose control; he wants to go faster but he’s afraid he would hurt you. Your voice was getting louder, so he lowered himself to muffle the cries you were eliciting with a sloppy, wet kiss.

“Shh, we can’t let others hear. Only I can hear you, got it?” He demanded.

You bite your tongue to prevent further cries; you could feel the tension in your thighs getting stronger while Levi continues to thrust his throbbing dick inside your slick walls. 

As Levi feels his high coming close, he rubs his thumb against your clit, making you jolt with near ecstasy. Your head thrashes left and right, calling out his name with a restricted moan. He wishes he could pleasure you and hear you like this every night. Moving his face away from yours, he nestles his head by your neck and bites your shoulder blades gently in an effort to prevent himself from saying ‘I love you’ like he used to.

Nails scratching his back, you are so, so close to coming. “Levi, I-I’m almost t-there.” 

Levi feels his own end as well. He rubs his thumb on your wet pussy even harder and with faster motions than any man could achieve. He smashes his mouth on yours as you cry out a stifling wave of orgasm. His thrusts become sloppier and slightly harder than when he started, and he releases a groan as he haphazardly pulls out and rubs it on your thigh. A pool of warm, white fluid shoots out and lands on your stomach. He watches the substance shine momentarily from the given moonlight protruding the room along with the ups and downs of your puffing body. 

The world stops for a moment as you both breathe heavily from the after-sex. Levi was the first to come to his senses and grabs a clean cloth to wipe your body. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks while still slightly panting.

“Good. Very good,” you say with a small smile. “And you?”

“Good.” said the man who clouds your entire foggy brain. 

Levi stands up and tosses the dirty cloth into the basket in the corner of the room. 

You expect him to put his clothes back on and order you to leave. But, he walks back to the bed and lays next to you to wrap his arms around your warm body.

“Am I being too selfish?” He asks softly with his face hidden in your neck again. 

He doesn’t see but you grin anyway, “Not at all.” You murmured.

As usual, you run your hands through his hair and continue to whisper the words he wants to hear. 

Just for tonight, he is yours as you are his. Just for tonight, you resurface the love you stowed away this past year. Just for tonight, he has a nightmare-free slumber thanks to the voice of the woman he loves; the woman he wishes would say ‘I love you, too.’

The woman he doesn't feel laying next to him the next morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONSENT IS KEY.  
> This was not smooth smut, and definitely not the hot-banging-choke-me type of sex as Levi and Reader still don't know what their current relationship is. A lot of "we shouldn't, should we?" parts. 
> 
> Also, I published the work I mentioned before about the 1920s AU London Levi/Reader fic! I hope you guys will enjoy reading that :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you guys have a relaxed weekend.


End file.
